Moments

Our Summer 2009

2009-09-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

Watch Tyler grow

The Summer has gone by so quickly.I can't believe it has been over two months since I blogged last. There has been so much going on I just didn't feel like blogging.

This summer was a summer to stretch our faith. Stephen ended up being out of work all Summer. He looked everywhere for work but it seemed like everyone around here was laying off instead of hiring. It was very hard for us. The money we had saved up ended up having to be used. I am very thankful for good family and friends that have been so helpful. God provided in many places. One person from church gave us about 8 packages of diapers, a family member gave us a $100 gift card for gas, someone else gave us a gift card to target, and our church family gave us some money to help with groceries. I am glad too that we had a roof over our heads thanks to my family. Yes God is good. Stephen , Tyler and I ended up having a whole summer together. We went on picnics,many walks, and had many talks. Time just seemed to go by.

Tyler has been such a good baby. I love him so much and can't imagine life without him. In the picture above is one of his first smiles , he had just learned to smile a few days earlier. :)

Because Stephen was home for the summer it let Tyler and him have some bonding snuggling time. I often found them like this when I came home from running errands.

My family has a camp in the adorondacks on Cranberry lake and we got to go there this Summer. Tyler is the sixth generation there. I didn't think we would be able to go this summer but my family decided to go so we decided to join them. The week we were there was spent in playing games, taking night swims, canoeing, fishing, and great camp food. Our camp doesn't have any electricity or running water. Tyler didn't seem to like how quiet it was and had a hard time sleeping while we were there. Usually at home we have fans going or a cd to get him to sleep.He would sleep fine while we were all up and making noise but as soon as we would all go to sleep and everything was quiet he would wake right up. It made for a long sleepless week for me. Tyler also had his first fever while we were there of 101.1 . We were concerned he might have a ear infection or something so we took him into town to see the dr. They couldn't find anything wrong and he ended up only having the fever for about 24hrs.

We also got to go and visit our good friends Mark and Ruth and their children Lydia,Ike,Zeke, and Jed in Vermont. We had such a good time there.Stephen got to help Mark out on the farm and Ruth and I got to hang out and have fun just doing everyday things together. Ruth had just had Jed a month before and Tyler and Jed are just two months apart. It will be so much fun watching them grow up together.

While we were in Vermont Ruth and I went garage saling and at one of the sales we bought this large bag of baby boy clothes to split up. In that bag was a pair of matching outfits that just happened to fit Jed and Tyler. Here they are in their matching outfits.

Aren't they cute!! I can't wait to see what they look like as they grow up.

Now here we are at the end of the summer. Stephen is now going to BU for his second semester there. I can't wait til he has his four year degree. Stephen also just got a job at Lowes again as a stocker on the night crew. As much as I am glad that he got a job I will be sad to see him go back. He will be working from 9pm- 5am so I will be spending my nights alone. It will be weird sleeping alone again. But it is a job and we are grateful for it. I also have to go back to work. I really don't want to but I have no choice. We need the health insurence and the little extra I bring home will be helpful. I will miss Tyler so much. My mom will be watching him while I am at work. I hope I don't have to work for too long and that Stephen can get a better job with good pay and health insurence.

I guess that is all for now. I will try to keep you better posted so please check back at my blog once a while again.

Tyler's Birth Story

2009-06-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

Tyler was due on May 15th and it's funny I always thought that would be his Birthday but God had other plans. Everyday after May 15th past I would wake up after another restless nights sleep wondering will this be the day? Wednesday May 20th was the same. Stephen and I tried to keep busy. After exhausting all of our ideas of what we could do around the house for fun we decided to go to the mall and buy a play station game to help the time pass. We ended up buying a $5 golf game. We played that for hours between mild contractions. In the afternoon I tried to take a nap but was restless. Then all of a sudden I had a burst of energy and I decided that I had to stop sitting around waiting and get up and do something. I asked Stephen to do up the dishes while I did the vacuuming then decided that the cats needed their spring baths so Stephen helped me do that. By the time all of that was done it was time for dinner so we decided to go to Wegmans (a local grocery store) for some dinner and pick up groceries while we were at it. As we were walking around Wegmans my contractions were becoming worse and I told Stephen we needed to get going home because I wasn't feeling well. As we were walking out to the car I noticed that I was wet. Not very wet, but enough to wonder if my water was leaking. We went home and I called the Midwives and asked them what I should do since I tested positive for Strep B so I needed to be put on an IV as soon as my water broke or was leaking. They told me to come in to get tested to see if it was my water that was leaking. They took me right in as soon as we got there at 7:30pm and the test came back negative but the Baby’s Heart rate was very high so they wanted me to stay and drink 2 large glasses of something cold to see if they could get the heart rate to drop. They were just getting ready to discharge me when I was very wet again and I said to the nurse "either my water is leaking or their is something wrong with my bladder." They did another test and that one came back positive. They put me right in a room and put my IV in. Stephen then went home to get our bags. I really didn't believe that I was finally in Labor that is why we hadn't brought them with us. LOL.

By Midnight that night my contractions were 2-5 minutes apart and getting stronger. My Mom came in the morning around 8:30 to be with me while Stephen went to get breakfast and take a nap. Time just seemed to pass, not quickly but it just felt like I was standing still and time was going by around me. Contractions came and went. Stephen and Mom took turns coming and going. Nurses came and went and there I was still laboring. It really didn't hit me how long I was laboring until I started to see some of the same nurses back for another seven hour shift .I began to Hate the big clock with Bright Red numbers in front of me reminding me how long this was taking. Twenty four hours came and went and here I was still only 5cm dilated. Then all of a sudden my contractions began to slow down to every seven minutes after them being every 2 minutes for hours. They started to give me petocine a little at a time to make them come more regular and make them a little stronger. It worked but I was still not dilating. After 36 hours of this I was exhausted and was falling asleep at the end of my contractions making them less effective. The Midwife came in and said it would probably be best if they cranked the petocine up more but before they did that they should put a epidural in to let me rest for a while. I was ready for a break and agreed to that. The epidural was GREAT! It made the pain go away and let me sleep for about 4 hours to regain some of my strength. When I woke up it was around 12pm on May 22 and the midwife checked me out and I was 10cm dilated and was ready to start pushing. I pushed for an hour with the epidural still on but it wasn't being effective so they turned the epidural off. The petocine by this time was up to 9.I pushed for 3 more hours but nothing was changing. The midwife then had a surgeon come in and check the baby out. He was starting to have swelling on the outside of the head developing a hematoma so they said it would be wise to do a c-section so that he wouldn't have brain damage. I was ready to have this done and agreed to the c-section. They told me it would be best to stop pushing. The hard thing was my body was already into pushing and the petocine was already up so the contractions were 1 minute apart. They were working as fast as they could to get me to the c-section but it still took a while. When the Dr came in to turn my epidural back on I was so grateful!! The c-section was painful because Tyler was wedged in me like a cork, but I was glad to have it done. When Tyler was out and was cleaned up Stephen brought him over so I could see him, I saw him blinked and they were gone. I then asked the nurse where they were and they were already at the nursery. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes. Come to find out Tyler would never have come out without a c-section. He was upside down and his head was too big for my pelvis. I am thankful that everything is done with and we are all healthy.He is a beautiful little boy and we are so grateful for him. It amazes me how you can already tell a little about his personality, he is a calm, content little boy who likes to sleep, is hard to wake up like his daddy, has a temper when he is starving, and loves to snuggle. He is growing well and seems like he is changing daily. Today is his one month Birthday and he is now 9 pounds 4 ounces, 23 1/2 inches long.

Second Anniversary

2009-06-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it's our second anniversary.So much has happened since last year.Last year for our anniversary we went to Vermont stayed at a Bed and Breakfast and visited friends.This year we have Tyler.My parents gave us a gift card to go out to lunch and are going to watch Tyler for a few hours.We are really looking forward to that.I am so thankful to God for Stephen and for bringing us together.He had a much better plan for me than I did for myself.

Announcement!!!!!

2009-06-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

Tyler Stephen Brower

Born: May 22, 2009 at 5:51pm

By- C-Section

Weight- 8lbs. 10oz.

Length- 22 1/2in. long

We are soooo proud!!

Last post until Baby...I hope!!

2009-05-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

Time is quickly ticking by and in a few short days I will be a mommy.The questions I have now will be answered; like what it will be like to be in labor?What will he or (still possibly she)look like? When will my baby come? How big will he be? Will he be healthy or will their be complications? Will he have hair? All will be known in a few days.

As this pregnancy comes to an end I sit here reflecting on how this pregnancy went.How it started with a pregnancy test taken at a chinese resturant where I thought it didn't work and burried it in the garbage under paper towels until after my shakiness from hunger was gone and I went back and retreved it and saw that I was indeed pregnant!!I was so excited and couldn't wait for Stephen to come home from work so I could tell him.Then we had to tell our parents which we were nervious about since we still didn't have a home of our own and we thought they would be upset with our carelessness.Only to find them all so excited and supportive and saying they couldn't believe it took us that long!!LOL!! I never did get morning sickness although I didn't feel good when it came time to make dinner.I couldn't eat or even smell chicken for the first 3 months without feeling queezy.Tomato sauce wasn't something I could tolorate either, but that doesn't usualy agree with me anyways.Tiredness is something I have gotten use to.This baby really takes all the energy right out of me.I have had alot of water swelling in my legs and have stretch marks all over my legs.I never thought that would happen.I have had to wear uncomfortable stockings for the last 11 weeks.The first time that I felt him move was the most amazing feeling.The first time we saw him move on the outside was on March 3 while we were at LaMaze class.Neither Stephen or I paid much attention to the class after that.It was so amazing.Ultrasounds are the best.I could stare at my baby for hours if they would let me.I couldn't believe that that was really what was in me.How could anyone believe that we came from monkeys instead of from a Amazing God!!

So here I am now two days away from my due date. As of right now I have gained 31 pounds which I guess is pretty good.Baby is in position and getting stronger by the day.He is still really active.I am pretty much all ready.Bags have been packed and placed by the door.The carseat has been installed in our car.I washed all the baby clothes last week and have them folded and put away.I have the laundry all caught up on and have been working at keeping our house clean and organized so I wont be stressed when I come home.Thank You notes from my baby showers are almost done.I think I have about 12 to go.Not bad!!My aim is to get them done before the baby comes.I better keep working on that.Come on Baby,I think I'm ready!!

My Baby Showers

2009-04-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

My First baby shower March 29th with Stephens family and Binghamton Friends

A shower game.They had to draw my baby on the plate on their head.They all turned out beautiful!! LOL

My Mom, Me and Julie ( Stephen's Mom)

My Second Shower in Syracuse with my Family and Friends from Syracuse, April 18th.

My Third and final shower thrown for me by my church family April 26th after church.

My Friend Heather and Me!!

They were all so nice. Too bad the time goes by so fast. Now come on Baby!!

Finally Pictures from our trip to Lancaster

2009-04-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

The After Eight Bed and Breakfast

Baby's first train ride!!
Beautiful Longwood Gardens

Of Chocolate, Pregnancy, Jobs, and a New Car

2009-04-22T06:17:00.000-07:00

Chocolate is something I keep craving during this pregnancy. When I am not pregnant chocolate is usually not something I crave. I usually crave chips,subs,or fruity things like Skittles or Starbursts. I wonder if this will last after the pregnancy is over?! Everything has been going well pregnancy wise. When I went to see my Midwife on Monday she said everything is going great and I am right on target.The babies heartbeat is strong,she thinks he's about 6 pounds right now,he moves around alot leaving Mommy with a sore tummy, my blood pressure is low which accounts for my times of almost fainting but the Midwife didn't seem to worried about it.The only thing that is wrong is that the test for the Group B Strep came back positive.I am not really sure what that means but I know that I am not looking forward to having to wear a IV for the whole labor. I talked to my Midwife a few weeks ago about having a water birth. I hope that I can still do that with having the Group B Strep now,I forgot to ask my Midwife if that would be a problem now. Only 23 days til my due date. All of a sudden things seem to be going so fast. Work is exhausting to me.Not the work itself but the getting up at 6 to be to work by 7. I am not sure whether I will stop working on May 1st or the 8th either way my Midwife said she would write me a note any time.

Stephen's job at Ensco ended on April 10th leaving him with no job. The job he was hired for at Ensco was a contract based job for 2-3 months. The sad thing is that they worked so well that they got the job done in 2 months instead of 3 leaving Stephen with no job.They are working on getting another contract and this contract is suppose to last for 1-2 years and would make him a full time employee. We are really hoping for this. I am having a really hard time having faith that God is going to provide a good job for Stephen. It's so hard for us with him not working at all.I don't make much and with my job ending soon and baby coming it makes me worried.When my job ends so does my pay.They give Aides 6 weeks unpaid maternity leave. Stephen is not worried at all and just keeps reminding me that the Lord will provide.I know in the Bible it says that "my God will supply all your needs" and he is,just sometimes not in the way I would hope he would. Please pray that Ensco would either get this contract or not quickly so we would know what to do. Stephen could go back to Lowes but he doesn't want to start back there if Ensco might call him in a few weeks.And I just need peace.

We were able to buy a new car. The extra money that Stephen made while at Ensco went right to that.Good timing because our other car decided to stop running well.We bought a 2002 Buick Century.It is such a nice car.Four door,smooth,great speed, and kind of looks like a old peoples car, but thats ok.I will have to take a picture of it so you can see it. We are both pretty proud of our first big purchase being married and we are still without Debt!!

Our Trip to Lancaster April 3-5th

2009-04-21T06:10:00.000-07:00

April 3-5 we went to Lancaster for a little get away before the baby comes.It was so nice.We left here around 2 on Friday and just took our time driving around and ended up at our Bed and Breakfast.We stayed at the After Eight Bed and Breakfast www.aftereightbnb.com .It was so nice and comfortable. I love bed and Breakfasts.We have already been to 5 since we got married and have loved every one of them.They treat you so special with little snacks,and a lovely breakfast.We spent our time just taking it slow.We really did need the break.Friday night we just went out to eat and then went back to the B&B for some games and some R&R.So nice!! On

Saturday it was cool and windy so we did things that would be mostly inside. We went to the Kitchen Kettle Village (one of my favorite places to shop in Lancaster)and just looked around getting ideas of things that we would like to get when we have our own home someday.Our little apartment is already quite full especialy with baby things moving in. :)After that I was kind of tired from the walking so we decided to go for a ride on the strousburg train.It was nice but really exspencive for the short 45 minute ride.Later that night we went to a nice restaurant and just had a nice time eating and talking.
On Sunday we went to the Longwood Gardens!!What a beautiful place!!There wasn't much blooming yet but what was blooming was Beautiful!!There was so much to see and do there.It wasn't really pregnant women friendly though with all that walking and restrooms few and far between!!I hate having to think about where the bathroom is!! We are already planing a trip there in August!!On the way home we stopped to visit my Great Aunt Mim and Uncle Dick.They are such dear folks!!Aunt Mim is one of those people who is always cheerful and a joy to be around.We had such a nice visit but it ended much too soon!!
I took a few nice pictures of our trip and will hopefully post them soon.

Did You Miss Me?!!

2009-04-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while again.Sorry!! :)

Lets see what has been happing here. Well I think Spring has sprung.It is sooo beautiful out today and I am missing it.I hate having to work when it is nice out.But I know that it is just a start of what is to come.SUMMER!!

I had my first baby shower on Sunday.I am going to end up having 3 smaller showers since my family and friends are so spead out. The one this past Sunday was for Stephens family and our friends from down here.It was awkward.Stephens family is so different.His Aunts came,gave me their gifts as if someone made them, and then they all went in another room and had their own little party. At first Mom and I didn't know what to do.Were they going to come in for games and opening presents? Should we wait for them? After a while we just decided to start and if they wanted to come in they would.Well they never did so it just ended up being our friends from down here that participated.It was weird because I was opening presents from people I didn't even know and I couldn't even look up and say thank you.So I still don't really know Stephens family. I asked Stephen before the shower if he would tell me about the people that would be coming to the shower so I would know a little about them and he didn't even know much.So different from my family.We are one big, lovey, huggie bunch.Now I know why Stephen loves going to my family gatherings so much.He has never really been much of a part of a family before so he is making up for lost time.Anyhow I did end up with some really nice things.Alot of very cute outfits! "I can't wait to see him in them!!" It's all kind of overwhelming.Next week I am going to start trying to organize things and put some of them away.It can't all stay in a big pile in our diningroom forever.My next shower is April 18th and that one I know will be a fun time with all of my family and friends from Syracuse.

Stephens job continues to go well. Both of us are finally getting use to the crazy schedule that we have to live in.Stephen has a break from school this next week so that will be nice.No Homework.He is hoping to put in extra hours at work.I am on Spring Break from April 9th til the 20th!!!It's too bad our breaks weren't at the same time.

This weekend we are going on a little get away!!I am looking sooo forward to it.We are going to Lancaster and staying at The After Eight Bed and Breakfast.It looks like a really nice place and I look forward to seeing what it looks like in person.

Our Little Miracle at 28 weeks!!

2009-03-22T12:17:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I forgot to post a picture of this cute face!!I hope you can see his face.It might take a minute but once you see it you will see his face every time!!

Just Pictures

2009-03-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

My friend Danielle is getting married on August 7th and I am going to be in the wedding.We went shopping for the bridesmaid dresses on March 12th.It was lots of fun watching the girls try on the dresses.I felt HUGE next to these skinny girls.This is the dress she picked out for us (just not in orange!!)It's going to be cream with a black sash.They ordered me a size 16.Hopefully by the time the wedding arrives I will at least be back to a 12.We shall see.

Week 32 getting closer!!!
Week 30 of Pregnancy!!

Stephen on his first morning going to his new job.It's hard to believe he is starting his 5th week there already!!

365

2009-03-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

I guess 365 isn't going to work out for me.I was hoping that it would but I just don't have enough interesting things to take pictures of.Maybe I will try it next year by then I will have at least one interesting little guy to take pictures of :).I will continue to post pictures once and a while but just not daily.

Catching Up

2009-03-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hello again!! Time for another post I think.I know it has been a while and my only excuse is my lack of inspiration towards writing.

Stephens new job is going well.It's so nice to see him excited to go to work now.It's hard to believe that this is his third week there already.Time is just going so fast.His first 2 weeks were training and now he is pretty much on his own although there is always someone there to help him when he doesn't understand something.We are really hoping that after this temp job is over they will hire him full time or at least he will get another Temp position.Stephens new schedule was a little bit hard for me to get use to at first.Stephen gets home at 6 now and needs dinner ready when he gets home so that he can eat and go right to studing.Makes for alot of lonely hours for me.At first I felt neglected but I know he has to do all of this in order to better support our family.I have learned to spend my night hours doing things around the house.I actully enjoy the quiet hours cleaning,doing dishes,watching movies,and reading.

A nice thing about the new job is that he has weekends off.For the first time is our life together we can do things on the weekends.He usualy doesn't have home work to do either since both of his professors like to give them things on Sunday nights and they are all due on Fridays.About 2 weeks ago we were able to buy a new toy.A recliner!!My legs have been so bad with this pregnancy and the Dr wanted me to put my legs up more often so we decided that a recliner would be a smart purchase,not to mention that it will come in handy to rock baby to sleep.Many nights I get in my recliner to read a book and end up falling to sleep right there.Then when Stephen is finally ready to go to bed after his home work is done he wakes me up to go to bed.Our Cat Boxer thinks that we bought the recliner for him.I often get home to find him curled up in the recliner.

We started our Lamaze class last Tuesday.We have it 3 Tuesday nights from 6-9.I must say it is very interesting.Last Tuesday we had an almost 3 hour lecture and then some practice on breathing.Do you really use the silly breathing?If you do is it something that you really need to practice doing?I'm looking forward to hearing what you seasoned mothers have to say about this.Last night we got to watch 3 births.Watching the movies made me a little nervious and feel like I just want to get it over with now.Too bad baby isn't done baking yet and I have 9 more weeks.I think God made pregnancy so long to teach us patience.

My Mom and Mother in Law Julie are throwing me a baby shower on March 29th for Stephens family and our friends that live around here.Then they are going to have another one in April for all of my Friends and Family in Syracuse.I am really looking forward to them but at the same time I don't know where I am going to put all of the babies stuff.The basement is already feeling crowded.I have been going through things a little at a time and getting rid of things we don't really need.I have already made a few trips to the Salvation Army but I still don't seem to have room.Stephens parents have offered for us to store some things at their house and I think we might have to.

That will have to be all for now.My next class is due any minute!!

Stephens Job

2009-02-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

Just in case you were wondering if Stephen ever heard back about the job........He Got It!!!.They hired him on Thursday and he started today.I know Fast right!! It is only a temp position for about 2 1/2 -3 months but it is a foot in the door and a step in the right direction. It sounds like everyone there starts out as a Temp and then once they see how they work their is a possible hire afterwards.We are just so excited for him to be able to finally use his schooling and work at what he likes to do.The pay is Great and alot better than we ever dreamed. What else is nice is that it is a Monday -Friday job so he will be off on the weekends!! No more retail. He will be doing most of his studing at night and on the weekends.At least he will be home where I can see him.

Possible Job Opportunity

2009-02-12T07:04:00.000-08:00

Stephen just had a call yesterday from Ensco ( the company he has been trying to get a job at for a while)!!They said they have a position open that they would like to consider Stephen for!!Yea!!We are really praying for this one.What an answer to prayer it would be if Stephen could get a better full time job with the health benefits.Then I really could stop working with the school as soon as the job was in place and then I could just get a part time job when I was ready.But we have Stephens school schedule to think about now.Ensco has said before that they were willing to work around his school schedule, hopefully that is the case this time too.Please pray for God's will in this.Stephen is going to be calling them this afternoon for more details.I will let you know as soon as we have more details!!

The Pregnant Women of Woodrow Wilson Elementary

2009-02-10T05:28:00.000-08:00

In my School there are six women pregnant and we are all due in the same month.Today we took a quick picture of us all for memory sake.I was the one that got everyone together and let me tell you it wasn't easy.We all have different schedules and different times for our breaks.I finally found a minute time span where we could stop quick and take a picture!!Here they are!!

In this picture we are in order of when we are due.Starting with the women in the white she is May 2, May 11,"Me" May 15,May 17,May 30, and June 6( but she is having her baby by C-section scheduled the end of May).It's funny you can tell the women that have had children before compared to us new pregies!!They started showing alot faster.This is also my picture for the day for 365!!

Starting 365

2009-02-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you that don't know what 365 is, you try and take a picture a day of random day to day things and post them either one a day or all the photos from that week once a week.This week I chose to do a post with them all on one day.Here it goes.Hopefully I can keep this up.

February 1- Me and my baby belly at 25 weeks!!!

February 2- I tried a new bread recipie.Victorian Milk Bread -The dough was the toughest dough I have ever worked with.The outcome was pretty but the taste I will be honest wasn't so great and it was tough.

February 3-No Picture

February 4- My Birthday!!These are the beautiful roses that my hubby bought for me.He ran me a bubble bath for when I got home from work.Put candles all around the bathroom and the roses were sitting on the edge.He said for my birthday he was giving me relaxation.So I relaxed in my bubble bath ,for dinner Stephen took me out to eat to the Olive Garden,"Yummy" and then we just walked slowly around a few stores just looking around.It was a nice night!!

February 5-No Picture

February 6-No Picture

February 7-This is our bed that we finally bought in early December!!The bed we had was a wobbly hand-me-down that bowed and squeeked.We had talked about buying a new bed for a long time and finally broke down and bought this one.It is soooo nice.It feels like we are always sleeping at a bed and breakfast.Today I cleaned my room from top to bottom so you could see it!! My room really wasn't that messy, I just had to make the bed!!

February 8- My Kittys Melisa( the blonde one) and Boxer(the black and white one) snuggled up together.Melisa doesn't like sleeping that close to Boxer but Boxer does.So once Melisa goes to sleep he sneeks up and snuggles in.She always looks surprised when she wakes up!!

Trying to Trust

2009-02-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Here I am,I just wrote a very uplifting post about my cup being half full and then not even a half an hour later I was hit with a blow and I am really going to have to trust God on this.There is No paid maternity leave for me.I have only been working in the school for a little over 2 years and you have to be here 3 years to get a paid leave.The only thing I could possibly get is 6 weeks paid time from the sick bank, but the only way I can get days from the sick bank is if their is a problem with my pregnancy."who would wish a problem with their pregnancy!!" Then the Doctor can write a note saying I need a leave of absense for a health reason.Even then though I have to write to the Sick bank board telling them of my problem with the Drs note and then they will "consider" my situation and may then issue a 6 week paid sick leave.After the baby is born I can then again with a Drs note write and ask for another paid leave from the sick bank.But in all of this their is No certainty.The thing that gets me is that I still have to pay over $200 every 2 weeks for the health insurence.I will be blunt, my husband only gets $500 every 2 weeks so that gives us $600 a month to live on and that doesn't include taking out the bills.I am very greatful that we don't have an appartment to worry about paying for too.I know that God Will take care of everything so why do I worry?! Just makes me nervious with the baby coming.Please pray for us as we work through this.Also pray for my husbands job.Things have not been going well for him at Lowes.It's almost as if they are trying to force him out.The other day the store manager cornered Stephen and pretty much called Stephen a liar.Thankfully there was a witness there so that he could file a complaint, but you really don't want your boss against you.Stephen likes working at Lowes except for his boss is not a good man.Stephens mother went to school with him and said he was bad even back then.Who knows maybe that is why he doesn't like Stephen because of his mom.Who knows!!

Glass Half Full

2009-02-09T06:56:00.000-08:00

As time is drawing nearer to our boys arrival I find many people trying to make me see the glass half empty instead of half full. I prefer to look at this new adventure with excitement.Yes we don't have a big appartment and the baby will have no nursery of it's own,their is no room for a crib,no room for a changing table. At first I was disappointed with this part of pregancy.I have always looked forward to someday decorating a room special for a coming baby,buying all those cute little things that match like crib bedding,curtains,wall hangings and so on but this time it is not for us. Many people "especialy at work" ask me what my theme is for the babys room and if I have a bedroom set picked out.I just answer that the baby will be staying in our room since we don't have a room for a nursery.Some look at me horrified and say "Where will the baby sleep? How could you live without a nursery?" I jokingly say that the baby can sleep in the bottom dresser drawer for a little while!! As they don't get my little joke I explain that we are going to buy a pack and play for the baby to sleep in.The disappointment I see to my response is sadening.Why is it that in todays society they think that we need so much for a baby? I was watching the Nativity Story around Christmas and noticed how much we really don't need. When Elizabeth had John the baptist or when Mary brought Jesus into the world what did they have?Not much?!! They had a blanket to wrap the baby in,and the baby slept with them. How much simpler things were back then. Today everything is focused so much on things. Not that I would want to do things that way.Yikes!! Their are somethings now days that I wouldn't want to do without and I appretiate.So I have decided to continue to look at things through a glass half full. Yes things will be tight in the basement but I am glad that everything is close and homey!!

Untitled

2009-02-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

I am feeling much better about the pregnancy and am really starting to enjoy it. There were alot of things that I never thought of before that sort of startled me at first like gaining weight,stretch marks,and ugly veins,but now that I am getting use to the changes I am really excited about the whole thing.I know I said in my last post that I didn't like being pregnant, but I really do now.I love my pregnant belly,I love feeling the baby move,and getting bigger just means the baby is healthy and growing bigger too.I was worried about my boy last week when I didn't feel him for almost a whole week.I thought for sure he had died or something was wrong, but I guess he was just sleeping because Saturday night he decided to have a party in there. On Sunday night while we were watching the Super Bowl the baby was going crazy kicking all over.I just joked and said that he must like football.Now today he is pretty quiet probly warn out from all the excitement over the weekend.LOL!!

I have been tired all the time, sometimes I don't feel like I can get out of my own way, but I still try to keep busy.

Stephen started BU "Binghamton University" last Monday. He really likes his classes and thinks he will do well.It is going to be hard on him though.He is going to try to work 30+ hours per week and he is taking 8 credit hours of school, along with doing homework.Usualy during school he only works up to 20 hours a week, but with the baby coming we are trying to live on just his paycheck and bank mine.I actually am enjoying the challenge. We use the envelope system so the money we have in the envelopes is "all" we have to spend.Somedays it's hard when I just want to go shopping but then I remember why we are living in such a way and I feel better.Right now we are saving for a newer car.Mine is a 2 door sports model caviler and we need a newer 4 door.Stephens father found us a nice Buick and he is buying it for us now and then we will be paying him back.Then we hope to start saving towards a house which will take alot longer, but it would be so much better to own than rent when the time comes when we need a bigger place.God knows what we need and as of right now we really want for nothing.

Well this post is much longer than I ever intended it to be.I will try to stay in touch better but you know how that goes!!

LOL

2009-02-02T05:52:00.000-08:00

I just found this picture on a friends blog and I just had to post it too.LOL too funny!!!What a drawing.

BIG

2009-01-21T06:15:00.001-08:00

I am feeling BIG this morning. I have been trying so hard, to eat the right things, drink alot, and not eat too much at a sitting.The truth is I don't eat much at all compared to what I ate before I was pregnant.I thought I was doing really well until I stepped on the scale this morning.I have already gained 17 pounds and I still have 16 weeks to go!!!What do you think I am doing wrong?Maybe I am starting to retain water.My rings no longer fit so I am ringless.Stephen is going to buy me a fake set I can wear during pregnancy, I don't want to look like the pregnant unmarried teenager that we see so often in our society.How much did you gain durning pregnancy?Do you think that I am over-reacting about the weight I have gained?I just hope I am able to loose it later.

It's the little Things

2009-01-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

Baby is so active today!!!It makes excited.

Welcome

2009-01-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

I would like to encourage my blogspot friends to welcome Casey to blogspot.She just started her own blog but only has me for a friend so far.She is a sweet christian girl and a good friend of mine.Welcome Casey!!

Remembering

2009-01-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

I was at my Grandmom's recently and came across this priceless picture and had Stephen scan it into the computer so that I could have it too. This picture is of the Riordan side of my family (my moms side),in this picture is My Poppy and Grandmom , cousin ben and my brother Tom on Poppy's lap and cousin Faith and my brother Steven on Grandmom's lap, I am standing in between.We are all grown up now.My cousins ben and faith are now 19 , my brothers are soon to be 21 in a few days and I will be 24 in February.My Poppy left us to go to heaven 6 years ago.Grandmom is doing well and still living on her own in the house that Poppy built.The pine trees behind us are gone now too.It just amazes me how fast time flys when you are not looking.Here I am going to be a mom myself in a few short months and my own parents will become Grandmom and Poppy.

Pregnancy woes

2009-01-09T06:23:00.001-08:00

I always thought that being pregnant was a nice thing.I have alway wanted alot of children but now that I am pregnant I think I am rethinking it.I am not enjoying being pregnant very much.That might shock some of you that love being pregnant.I guess I never thought much about getting big,gaining weight,having my legs get huge,having ugly and a bit painful varicose veins show up on my legs,having your bellybutton all of a sudden disappear,and catching every known virus that is out there.I'm not saying that being pregnant doesn't have it's pros too.I love my baby already, I really do and I look forward to having him to love and hold and watch him grow.Have any of you ever felt that way?

Recipe website

2009-01-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

I just found a new inspiring recipe website so I thought I would share it with you.www.foodchannel.com .I just spent over an hour looking over unique and yummy looking recipies.It makes me want to cook.Too bad I am at work!!

Well it's a.....

2008-12-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

Boy!!!!There is no doubt about that.See pictures below to see what I mean.I was so sure it was a girl too.Now I need to start thinking about boy names.Hmm any ideas??

Our Baby!!!

Yep definitly a boy.

Our Baby boy at 20 and a half weeks!!We can't wait to meet him.Stephen is so excited that the Brower line will go on.Stephen is the only son of the only son.

Coming Home

2008-12-22T06:22:00.001-08:00

"Please read the previous post first so that you can understand this post better!!"

Dad is coming home today!! The Steroids did the job and stopped the colitis from spreading!!He started on the steroids on Thursday night and by Friday morning Mom said he was a different man from the day before.As the weekend went by he got continualy stronger.He is still down alot of weight.But I am sure as soon as he gets out of the hospital cooking he will gain some of it back.Mom is looking forward to getting him home so she can take care of him better.Dad said he can't wait to get home and see the Christmas tree lights.We moved our Christmas to New Years day to give dad more time to recover and so we all could enjoy some of the fun things that come with Christmas!!Thank You for all of your prayers.I will keep you updated.

The Diagnosis

2008-12-22T05:52:00.000-08:00

"I wrote this post on Friday but I didn't get to finish it,I thought I would post it all the same and I will catch you up in my next post."
Dad has colitis is the diagnosis.He has had colitis for 5 years but the colitis he had was only in parts of his colon, a bunch of little spots pretty much.The difference now is that he has colitis is in his whole colon from begining to end.His whole colon is swallen and very red with the disease.So yesterday they started him on steriods for three days.It is the only way to stop it even though we wish they could stop it another way.( When dad is on steriods he sometimes gets parinoid and then it also can shut down his immune system )The way he is now he would die if it isn't stopped.The Colon is the place where the body gets all of it's nutrients and when it is all colitis the body can no longer absorb any nutrients and will die.So the main thing right now is to stop the spread of the colitis and then when it is stopped put him on probiotics and a strict diet.He then will have to be on that for the rest of his life.A strict diet means no tomato products,no cows milk products, no sugar other than honey,no wheat products,and so on.Pretty much all he can have is organic meat,raw veggies and fruit,brown rice,other forms of bread like other grains (I can't remember the names of the grains).Once he is on the diet and the probiotics the body can start to heal itself.
Please pray that the steriods would do their job so that he can start to heal.

Cooking Trouble

2008-12-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

I usualy love to cook and be creative while cooking but since I got pregnant my creativity and desire seems to be gone.I feel bad because our savings account is definitly suffering.I get home from work at 3 and end up taking a nap, by the time I wake up and shake my sleepiness off I am starving and I am like just give me food!!By then all my creativeness is gone and we end up going out to eat.Bad, Bad, I know!!Not only bad for the wallet but also bad for your belly as I end up ordering food that probly isn't the best for me.I have lots of food in the house so that is not the problem, the problem is making the food into something desireable.I need serious help.I need to get out of this funk I am in and start being creative again.My thoughts go out to many of you who have several children and still end up putting food on the table.But then again not many of you work from 7-3 outside the home either.So I need some inspiration from my friends.If you have any easy recipies or websites you could share with me I would greatly appretiate it.

Poor Dad

2008-12-17T08:02:00.001-08:00

Well you know yesterday that I said that Dad was doing so much better and they thought he would be going home yesterday,well I was wrong.I got home yesterday from work thinking that I would be seeing Mom and Dad home and they weren't.Mom called around 7 and said that Dad was really sick,the sickest she has ever seen him.He took a turn for the worst on Monday night and got worse all day on Tuesday.His white blood cell count is way up again,he has a feaver and hasn't been able to keep anything down.His pain in his right side is now a 7.So they decided that it might be his appendix after all.They were waiting for him to be able to keep down this special liquid so that they could do a MRI.They were finally able to do that this morning.Now we are just waiting to see if the results come back possitive and that it is his appendix.It's terrible to hope that kind of thing on him, but I hope that it is his appendix.The Doctors have no idea what is wrong if it is not.Mom is really worried.He has already lost almost 20 pounds.Because of my Dads colitis he loses weight quickly.Please pray for knowledge for the Doctors and for a quick recovery for Dad.I will keep you updated when I know better.Thanks for your prayers!!

Much Better !!!

2008-12-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are anxiously waiting to hear how the rest of my day went yesterday here it goes.The Doctor appointment went well.The baby is fine and sounds nice and healthy with a heart rate of 160-170 BPM.I was very relieved to hear that.Then why all this cramping??I still don't know and neither did the Doctor.She said it could be anything from a yeast infection to the baby getting bigger and my insides trying to adjust.She did a bunch of little tests and I will find out on Wednesday how they are.Until then she has me on a liquid diet.I have been on it since dinner last night and I am already starving.I asked Stephen to pick up soup,popsicles,juice and ginger ale on the way home.All that stuff is fine and dandy but not very filling.I also made jello.

As for my Dad, he is doing better.Yesterday his white blood cell count came back normal so the antibatic worked.His Galbladder is fine too so he wont have to have surgery.The only bad thing is that everything has started his Colitis again full force.For those of you who aren't familiar with Colitis ,it makes him have to run to the bathroom all the time.Mom said she will be glad when she can get him home and take care of him.My Dad is alergic to All Milk products, chocolate and nuts and the hospital keeps forgetting.Thankfully Mom is always there watching.My Dad sometimes forgets and if he does it sends him into a full blown Asthma attach within 4 hours of eating it.The doctor said yesterday that they might send him home today!!

I am feeling much better today emotionaly!!!Yay!!I hate it when I feel like my emotions are controling me, not me controling my emotions.

Tomorrow looks like we might have a snowday here!!!!!It is sapose to start snowing,freezing rain, and sleeting around 1:00am tonight and continue into the day tomorrow.But then you never know last week we had some pretty nasty weather and we still only had a 1 hour delay.We were one of two schools in our area that didn't close last Friday.Not nice!!

An Emotional Pregnancy Day

2008-12-15T10:13:00.000-08:00

am feeling like a very emotional pregnant woman today.Not a good day to be at work.I am afraid to talk to anyone because they might say something that will make me just burst out in tears.I really do need to cry but I am the type of person that likes to hold in my feelings until I expolode one way or another.I need to fix that.Here are the things that are making me emotional
~My Clothes aren't fitting!!!I should say my shirits aren't fitting.I am noticing how many of my shirits are too short and show the maternity belly of my pants.I tried on sooo many shirits today before I found one that fit right.I need to go shopping but how do I know what size to get and everything is so exspencive.Any Ideas??
~I have been Crampy for the last week.Sometimes the cramps are so strong that I start to sweat.This morning I woke up with them in my lower belly and the base of my back.It feels like I have my period.But it is so weird how it comes and goes.I told my mom about it and she told me to call my Dr so I have a appointment at 1:40.Please pray that everything is ok.
~My Dad is in the hospital.He went in on Saturday night with severe pain on the right side of his stomach.Yesterday they did alot of tests on him but they really aren't sure what is wrong yet.His Whilte Blood Cell count is high and he has some blood in his urine.They checked his appendix and it isn't that.They did find swelling around his gallbladder,and a cyst on his Liver and one on his right kidney.They are going to keep him for a few days to see how he is.Today he will see his Doctor who knows him well so maybe she will find the real problem.For those of you who know my Dad you know he has alot of health problems.Please pray that they will find what is wrong and that everything will go smoothly.
~Stephen is almost done with BCC Broome Community College!!It's both a joyous and sad thing.He will now have his 2 year degree, but now he is still going to go on with his schooling at Binghamton University in hopes of getting his 4 year degree.He is hoping to get a full time job ( with the baby comming) and go to school part time.It overwhelms me how he is going to do it.It just feels like I am going to be raising the child by myself.He is hoping to work from 7-4 and then go to night school.So we probly wont see him until 7 or 8 at night.We will see what God has planned.
I am sure everything will be fine but I needed to vent somewhere.Some days just feel overwhelming.Thanks for listening!!

Subs

2008-12-04T05:24:00.000-08:00

I want a sub soooooo bad.But not just any sub, I want a Danny's Favorite!! If any of you have been to a Wegmans and tried a Danny's Favorite you wouldn't go back to subway again.Danny's Favorite is a italian sub with Ham, salami,spicy salami , cabacola ham and I get provolone cheese and lettuce with a really good sub sauce!!Yummy!!!The only thing is that my Dr told me that I shouldn't have lunch meat while I'm pregnant unless it is a hot sandwich. From what I understand all lunch meat has a little bit of salmonella in it that doesn't hurt adults but can harm unborn babies. What do you think?Did you ever have a sub while you were pregnant?My mom said she ate lunch meat everyday when she was exspecting me.But do I really want to risk it? I am going to the doctors tomorrow for my monthly checkup and ask her if she means none or just not very often.Hopfully she meant not very often, if that is the case I know what I want for dinner tomorrow night.I bet you can't guess!!

A Little Bit of Everything

2008-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I am 17 weeks along already.Time sure is going fast.I felt the baby for the first time about a week ago or at least I think that is what the weird fluttering in my stomach was.It was almost as if it was swimming around in my stomach for about half an hour.But I havn't felt anything else since.Maybe it was just Gods way of letting me know that everything is ok and what is comming.
The last week has been spent being sick.I had the flu for about 9 days right during the Thanksgiving break and I am just starting to feel better.Wow is it hard to get better when you can't take anything.I really wanted Nyquil at night because of all the coughing.I just went herbal and drank alot of tea.I don't even like tea now!! I was really disappointed about being sick during Thanksgiving becuase this year I hosted Thanksgiving at my house for my family, Grandma Riordan, and Stephen's parents.I had all of these ideas of things I wanted to do like make fabric napkins and do special napkin designs on each plate,do some more decorating,and maybe even play some games.But none of those things happened.Everyone did still come to our house but I didn't do much.Stephen was a big help.I couldn't have done it without him!!
On Saturday I was starting to feel better so I decided to take down my fall decorations and start decorating for Christmas.I have almost all of my Christmas decorations up now except for our tree.I will have to wait til Sunday for that since that is the only time Stephen and I have to go together.I love it when everything is decorated for Christmas.I hung up some garland and lights on our fireplace mantle.I just love turning them on when it is dark out and reading but their light.I will try to post some pictures of our decorating soon.

How Amazing

2008-11-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

I just went for my first Ultrasound today.Mom and Stephen went with me.We tried to get Stephens mother Julie to go but she kept saying that she'll go when it gets bigger. It was so much fun to watch the baby.It looked like it was sucking his/her hand,at one point it had the hickups you could tell because it kept going up and down in rythym. It was pretty still today kind of like it was sleeping until the Dr started poking around and then it kicked a little.What an amazing thing to watch.Hope you enjoy the first pictures!!! The Ultrasound proved that I am 14 weeks along so the due date is May 15 or so,you know how it goes!!

Second Dr's Appointment

2008-11-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the Dr's for my second checkup hopeing to hear a heartbeat now that I am 14 weeks along but she still couldn't find the heartbeat, but could hear movement.I was a little disappointed,I was looking forward to hearing the heatbeat.After about five minutes of looking the Dr said lets take a look to see how we are doing.I was a little nervious about weather it was alive so I was glad she decided to do a sonogram.There it was, alot bigger than the last time I saw it at 8 weeks!!The reason that we couldn't hear the heartbeat was that it is a very busy baby!!It was moving around too much so we couldn't hear the heartbeat.I asked the dr where the head was and before she showed me it ,it had moved again.It kept doing flips ,a very active baby!!We could see the heart beating also.It was so much fun to watch!!Stephen says it must be a boy.My mom said that I will probly feel beatup inside when it gets bigger since it is so active!! I go for my first real sonogram on Wednesday where we will really see the baby.It's a 3D sonogram!!

God is in this !!!

2008-11-05T05:54:00.000-08:00

I heard these verses this morning on the way to work and I thought I would share them with you.

Daniel 2:20-23
20Daniel answered and said, Blessed be the name of God for ever and ever: for wisdom and might are his:
21And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings (Presidents), and setteth up kings (Presidents): he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:
22He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.
23I thank thee, and praise thee, O thou God of my fathers, who hast given me wisdom and might, and hast made known unto me now what we desired of thee: for thou hast now made known unto us the king's matter.

We may not be happy with the outcome of the election but we have to remember it is All in Gods hands.

Be Still

2008-11-04T06:16:00.000-08:00

As I sit here thinking about todays election and feeling unsure of where our country will be tomorrow the song by Steven Curtis Chapman keeps playing in my head "Be Still and Know That He Is God".Be Still, Be Clam, Be Patient.God will take care of his children.

I Popped

2008-10-20T11:30:00.001-07:00

Yeah so this weekend I definitly "Popped" so to say.My pants that fit last week are hardly fitting and you can see my little belly.Today at work people kept telling me that they could see that I was showing today.I havn't gained much weight at all so I guess everything so far is going to the right place.It makes me excited and a bit frusterated starting to see my belly.I am excited because you can really start to tell that I am pregnant,but I am frusterated because my clothes aren't fitting too well and I don't financialy know what to do about it.A friend at my work who had her last child in June is going to give me some clothes tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to fit in some of them.

I better catch you up

2008-10-15T05:47:00.000-07:00

Many of you may be wondering if I am still alive.Yes I am I did not drop off the face of the earth although sometimes I feel like I did.Pregnancy I am finding is not easy.I feel like all I do outside of work is sleep,eat and pee.Not very exciting I know.I don't have morning sickness which is definitly a relief.I am now almost 10 weeks along and many people tell me that this part will not last much longer.I hope they are right.I find myself wondering what it feels like to not be tired.I am also very emotional which accounts for the tearing up while watching Robots which is pretty pathetic.My poor husband!!He has been great through everything though.I came home yesterday to the dishes all washed and put away and meat out thawing for dinner.I was very greatful and rewarded him with me going right in on the couch to take a nap.
I went to my first Dr appointment last Wednesday and I am happy to report that there is only one baby in there!!!I was a little worried with Stephens Dad having been a twin and my brothers being twins that we might be doomed.Well we still might be but for this pregnancy it is only one.And as a good friend comforted me with before I went to the Dr "if it makes you feel any better cows never have twins their first time calving"!!LOL
The Dr visit went well.Stephen went with me but left me to my Dr for further examination.He is very uncomfortable with this whole thing and says that he won't go in with me when I have the Baby.I am praying that God will change his heart on that subject I really will need him there for support.It's not that he doesn't want to be there for me, he says he doesn't know if he could ever see me in that much pain. But then I remember last year when those two cysts on my overys burst and I was in all that pain he wouldn't leave my side, and my mom had to make him go and get something to eat.
We saw the baby for the first time which was so cool.They couldn't hear the babys heartbeat so they decided to do an internal ultrasound so we could see if everything was ok.It was so amazing.It already looked like a little baby and you could see the heart beating.We have a little picture of it but it is so tiny you could hardly see it.Once we get a better one I will scan it in the computer so you can see it.

Joanna and Curtiss' Wedding

2008-10-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Stephen and I went for a little drive to Seneca Falls for my good friend Joanna's wedding.It was the first wedding that Stephen and I were able to attend together since our wedding that neither Stephen or I were in the wedding.It was so nice to sit there together holding hands and remembering.The weddding was small and lovely.It was a bitter sweet wedding for all the family and friends because Joanna married a Missonary from Romaina and will be moving to Romania in the Spring.I can't imangine getting married and then moving to Romania to become a missonarys wife and leaving all my family and friends.But she does love Curtiss so God will help them get thought it!!They were so happy!!Full of smiles all day just as it should be!!God bless Curtiss and Joanna!!!

I am Positivly Positive

2008-09-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

As you can see I am Pregnant!!!!! Thanks for your encouragemant for me to take the test!!I took the test on Thursday on my lunch break!! ( I know you are wondering why it has taken me sooo long to post then,sorry for the wait!!) On Thursday after reading your answers and getting some encourgement from some friends at work I decided to do it.So off I went to CVS where I bought two tests just in case.Then I was starving so I decided to go to the Chinese Buffet close to CVS to eat.Before I ate I went to the bathroom and took the test.I waited about 2 minutes and nothing happened so I decided that I must not have peed on it long enough and threw it in the garbage with some paper towels on top of it.I then went to eat feeling a little discouraged that I would have to work up the courage to do it again.After eating I started thinking a little more clearly and I thought ( I wonder if the one in the garbage said anything?)So yes, I went back to the garbage and dug it out and was shocked that it had worked and that I was pregnant!!!!!I was sooo excited that I almost left the restaurant without paying.OOps!!!I called my Mom first and told her that she was going to be a Grandma and she said that she knew it because of how I had been feeling.You are probly wondering why I didn't tell Stephen first but I couldn't becuase he was at work and I wanted to tell him in person.I then had to go back to work and I was beaming so that everyone knew something was up.My friends in the office Linda and Maxine said they knew it because, I had been so tired and they weren't use to seeing me like that.I felt bad that Stephen wasn't the first person to know but "how could I keep that kind of secret in a school like mine".

When I told Stephen he was really quiet at first and then he seemed really excited and anxious saying "We need a bigger place!!I need a better job!! What are my parents going to say??!!"After taking some time to think about it he is now really excited and we can't wait!!God will take care of us!!!

Later that day I took a nap and when I woke up I thought "What if that test wasn't right?I just told all these people and maybe the test was wrong!! " I then thought of the other test and decided to take the test again.To my relief it was positive!!!Yeah!!

Girls Only

2008-09-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

I admit that I am getting a little nervious.My usualy on time period is almost a week late.My tempeture is still above 98* ( my normal is 97.3*) and has been like that for weeks.My tempeture always drops two days before my period so I know it wont be comming today or tomorrow.I have been feeling unusualy exhausted, and I get shakey when hungry.It could just be that my job is wearing me down, I have to be there at 7:10 every morning.So am I pregnant??? I know that we could be this month, but I am afraid to take a test.So what do you girls think?Should I take a test??Or should I wait another week or two?

2008-09-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

Getting Stephen to stay put for a picture is difficult so I thought I would post one from yesterday.We had a nice lazy afternoon at Stephens parents house!!Julie (stephens mom) wanted to email some pictures to Stephens sister in Florida so we took a bunch of pictures of the house,cat and us!!!

Getting ready to go back to work

2008-08-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote this yeaterday and didn't get a chance to post it and since I didn't want it to go to waste I am posting it today instead!!
Since I will be returning to work in just a few short days I have been working like crazy trying to get things ready.

Saturday I made bread and rolls.I tried a new recipe from allrecipes.com.I really liked it and if you would like to try it yourself look up Country White Bread.That is the the one I used.

Friday I decieded to decorated for the fall and as I was looking for the fall decorations box I decided to do some organizing.I ended up taking everthing out from all of my storage areas organized it and put everthing back neatly.You should have seen Stephens face when he came home from school to the mess!!By the time he came home from work at 6 though I had everything put away again.I took a trunk load of things we didn't need to the local Thrift Store.Finally after all that I got to decorate.I don't have very many fall decorations but this is how the Fireplace turned out.

Maybe I will keep you guessing about this picture........No I guess I better not.I decied I would like to sew again and since my friend Elena is exspecting in September I thought I would make her a baby outfit.Since we don't know weather it is a boy or a girl I decied to make one of each and whichever she doesn't have at least I will have for later.

Laundry,lots of laundry!!!More was comming that wasn't in the picture!!

Just me and my kitty tired and hot from a long day of work.I colored my hair this past week a redish brown.It wasn't sapose to be redish at all only a light brown but this is how it turned out.Oh well.

So off I go back to work on Tuesday.I am really sad about going back.Oh my friends I am going to need alot of prayers to keep content in this for the next few years until Stephen is done with college and can support us on his own.My heart just crys out to be a stay at home wife and most of all a mother.I want to have a baby sooo badly but I know that we can't afford it at this time.I watch friends having babies staying home and I get jealous.I feel like saying wait for me like I am falling behind.I know God has different timeing and lives for everyone.I just have to keep reminding myself.

Happy!!!!

2008-08-31T12:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but today I feel like I am the happiest person alive.I don't think anything could make me upset or unhappy today.I love Stephen soooo much and I feel so contented at where I am. I wish I felt like that all the time but I am enjoying this time while it lasts.At church today I just felt so relaxed and right where God wants me.We are going to a new church Twin Orchards Baptist Church.We have been going there for a little more than a month and we are really enjoying it.It was hard for us to leave Calvary Community but we both felt like it was the right thing to do.We had some trouble with some of Calvery Community's doctrine so we decided the best thing to do was to move on.We`are settling into (TOBC) very quickly and we already feel at home.Hope you all are having a great day also and enjoying the sunshine!!!

The Job

2008-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Well I don't have anything really to post yet.The job that I interviewed for is on hold for I don't know how long.The interview went really well though but I am not sure I am going to except the job.They only want to pay me $8.50 an hour and their Health insurence isn't very good.I am now going to try to get a better job in the school district since they have really good hours, good pay,benifits,and got to love all the days off for holidays and summer break.The school has a typist position open that I think that I am going to try for.I have to take a Civil Service typist test first so I hope that goes well.We shall see.I will try to keep you better informed.

Guess What?!?!

2008-08-25T07:07:00.001-07:00

I have an interview tomorrow at 9am for a secretarial job at an OBGYN office.This job seems perfect for me and I really would like to get it and move on if I must.I really like where I am right now but an extra $1.50 an hour is worth moving on.I am so spoiled at the School though.I am so use to long paid holidays throught the year and working only 7:45-2:30.This secretary job does give me 12 vacation and 6 sick days off a year but that isn't anything to the school and I would work from 8-5.That seems like a long day to me but I think they would definitly keep me busy.
Stephen also has another offer from Ensco.The last job Ensco wanted to hire Stephen for didn't work out because the contract fell through.Now they have a new contract and this one seems like it will take off.They have called Stephen a number of times in the last few weeks and they are sapose to be calling this week for an over the phone interview.Ohh I am so nervious and excited,do I dare hope that all of these things will happen at the same time?Only God knows and I am so glad to leave things in his hands for mine are too shakey.

Hobbies

2008-08-13T13:39:00.001-07:00

I finally have come up with some hobbies and I must say I have been enjoying myself emensly.

1- Couponing
If you like to save money on everyday things that you have to buy, couponing is for you. At first when a friend sugested it to me I thought that was a silly idea for a hobby and I wasn't sure if it was worth it,but it is.It actually is time consuming, finding the websites,cutting them out,and shopping with them wisely.Oh dear, I just made it sound like work but it really isn't. Here is just an example of what they can save you.
My Buget $80
I went to Price Chopper because they double coupons (up to $.99) and started bargin shopping.I did not bring a calculator this time because I wanted to see the outcome if I just used all that I had.I went up to the register with a full cart and Started to think ,oh no!! The total came up to $102 and some change.I was worried until I asked the cashier if she had taken off my coupons and she said that she hadn't.Once she did that the total was $82.That was still over my budget and I realized that I didn't have an advantage card so I filled one out and used it and my total was....$62 and some change.What a difference!!!!

2-Walks and Jogging
Whenever I feel like I don't know what to do and it is nice out I have been going for walk and sometimes jogging.At first I was a little nervious about going by myself,you never know what could happen.But I decieded not to live in fear, God is taking care of me.I love being outside and looking at other peoples houses.I take my MP3 player and just enjoy the fresh air.

3-Frinds
Many of my friends are getting ready to go away to college so I have been enjoying having as many people over as I can while they are still here.Watching
movies,together ,chatting,cooking,and so on is so much more fun when you have someone else to share it with.

4-Picnics
I love going on picnics!!!Whenever Stephen and I have a chance we pack up things for a picnic and head to a nearby park for a cookout and picnic.We love being outside, and food cooked on a grill is sooo yummy!!!There are always things to do at the park.Like hiking,swimming,paddle boating,and so on!!!

5-Reading
Then there is the good old standby ,reading!!!I love reading but alot of times I talk myself out of it saying that I have other more important things to do than read.But you know what, this is my time in life to read while I don't have babys crying for my attention or a larger place to keep up.Right now I am reading Roses for Mama By Janette Oke.If you have never read it I highly recremend it.I love her books!!!I am also reading Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman which I would only recremend for those of you married women around!!

A Little Bit of Everything

2008-08-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here wanting to write to you all about my amazing life but my mind keeps going blank.I guess it doesn't help with a stupid movie like "Benchwarmers" on in the back ground!!Definitly not an inspiring movie.

Today is my first day of vacation.I have been working for the past 5 weeks at the Binghamton Summer School Program but that is now over and I am now off for 3 weeks!!!
I am so excited about being on break but now what do I do? Everything that I can think about doing cost $$ and since Stephen and I finally broke down and bought a new bed last week (our bed we bought at the Salvation Army last year and the person that owned it fist left a giant divit in the middle so we spent all night trying not to roll to the middle and waking up with bad backs). Anyhow we found out that mattresses aren't cheap and after shopping around we finally bought a really good one at Raymour and Flanigan.Now our wallets are a bit sore and I need to find something to do that doesn't cost much.

This morning I organized my scrapbooking stuff and photos while watching Pride and Prejudice.It didn't take me as long as I thought it would so I was again in search of something to do.I decided to downlaod some pictures from dancing the other night. Last Wednesday we had a going away party for our friends Taylor and Ashley (they are moving to Arizona) and since they both love to dance they taught us how to dance.They chose Swing dancing.Stephen to my amazement caught on to it right away,me on the other hand had some trouble.I always thought that dancing looked easy but I found out to my dismay that it is not and that I have two left feet.It was lots of fun though and I hope that we can do it again sometime soon.Well back to the pictures ,after downloading and looking through them I decieded that I better start exercising again so I went for a jog and boy am I out of shape!!I think that is going to be my goal for the next month to loose some weight.I decided that I better not eat much for lunch after that and had a nice salad,the only problem is,is that I am starving now.I think I am going to start the habbit of writing on my live journal instead of eating and seeing how that works.I guess you all will be hearing from me alot more now!!

I need a Hobby!!!!

2008-07-29T08:33:00.001-07:00

I am so board,isn't that sad.Yes I work from 8-12:30 but when I get home I just don't know what to do with myself.I have cleaned and organized everything that I can think of,I can only cook so much for two. I use to garden and work at camps in the Summer but now I don't have my own garden and my brothers take care of my familys and I no longer work at camps.I feel so lazy just sitting around in the basement.I love being outside but I really don't have anything to do outside.Does anyone have any ideas for me?

Finally Pictures from Our 1st Anniversary!!!

2008-07-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

On our Anniversary day we had a few friends and family over.We watched the wedding videos,cut the cake top and reminisced about the wedding.

Stephen and I at the Bed and Breakfast that we stayed at in Vermont.It was very nice and the Breakfast was the best 3 course breakfast I have ever had.First we had Cheddar and Dill Scones, then they brought out Slightly cooked apples with a little scoop of Vanilla ice cream on it, and then we had pancakes with sausage and berries all over the plate.Very Yummy!!The couple that ran the Bed and Breakfast were very sweet and made us feel right at home.

Fun times at Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Factory.We went on a tour and got to have a taste of one of their new ice cream flavors Cheesecake...Yummy!!

Stephen and on at a Farm Museum on Lake Champlain.It was such a beautiful day!!

Our new Home away from Home!!We went camping a few weeks ago on Lake Ontario.It was lots of fun..and rain!!

Twists in the Road

2008-07-16T18:37:00.001-07:00

Life has a way of taking many twists and turns and you never know which direction you will end up going.Thats how I felt on the last day of School for the summer.I have been looking for a Summer job everywhere and was coming up empty. When I was about to give up and except that we were going to be living on only Stephens income God answered my prayers and a job just kind of dropped in my lap.One of the 4th grade teachers in my school (Kristine Basso ) was going to be the principle for the Middle School Summer School and asked me if I would be interested in working with her being the computer lady for the whole school.The idea overwhelmed and excited me and after having an hour and a half to think about it (she needed to know right away) I sad yes.She then sent me to Boces to have the interview, which really wasn't an interview but just a layout of what my job would be and what I would be payed.I accepted the position, filled out the forms and by the time I arrived home that night I had a job for the summer that was exactly what we needed.I did have a week off from work which was nice and the next Monday I started my new job.The job is for the next 5 weeks 8-12:30 Monday to Thursday and pays almost $2 more an hour than I usually get.Then when I am done I will still have three weeks off until School Starts.God is so good!!!!
The job is going really well.I love it!!It is so different working in the Middle School compared to Elementary.At first I didn't like it.I was a little intimidated by some of the Middle Schoolers being that it is inner City and they have seen way to much already.Many of them are too mature for their years physically and not enough mentally.But it is going well and I am sure the weeks will go by far too quickly.

Sad but True

2008-06-17T13:28:00.001-07:00

Well Stephen didn't get the job like we were hoping.I just got the call and now I have to tell him tonight.They said that they were very impressed with him and that they might call him at a later time.What a BIG disappointment.We were both so excited about the idea of the job and about the idea of living on our own.Please keep us in your prayers .He will be very disappointed.

Try this at Home

2008-06-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

Some of these are really helpful especially the very last one about the clothes dryer.
DID YOU KNOW?

1~ Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to
pick the little "stringy things" off of it. That's how the primates do it.

2~ Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

3~Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!

4~Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

5~Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

6~To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.

7~For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.

8~Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

9~Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply
chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them
in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350
for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!

10~Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on
the cooking channel and it really works.

11~Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

12~Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes
with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.

13~ Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

14~Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.

15~Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.

16~ No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.
It will keep the mosquitoes away.

17~Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

19~Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in nar-
row openings.

20~Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.

21~Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

22~Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car . When the window s fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

23~Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals
easily.

24~Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you
bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

25~Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the
cup and gone forever!

26~Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," can't
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works
and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the
house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the
dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the fil-
ter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he
took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a
mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ...
the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us
that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit.
You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your
clothes soft and static free ... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel
waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes
and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your
house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long
time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with
hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months.
He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?!
Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that.
So, I thought I'd share!

Not the anniversary I dreamed of

2008-06-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really feel like men are from mars, women are from venus.Yeaterday was our anniversary and being a women I have dreamed about our first anniversary,cutting the cake top together,getting flowers from my hubby ,having close friends and family over to celebrate and so on.I really need to stop dreaming about how things are going to be,I always just end up discontented.

Stephen didn't think that a first anniversary was anything that big and exciting.All day I exspected him to get me flowers and a sweet card ,but nothing ever came.Later he finally caught on that I was upset about something and when I asked him where my flowers were he said "what flowers,am I sapose to get you flowers?Then he said why do you want flowers so much?They are only going to die anyways." He obviously didn't get it.I can't even explain why I really wanted flowers but that it shows in another way that he loves me.I should have known he has only gotten me two single roses our whole married life and they were because either I was upset with him or I was sad about something.Oh well!!

My family,Stephens parents,and friends, Jenny, Donny, John,and Danielle came to celebrate the night with us.It was nice to have them all there.My parents and brothers bought us some anniversary presents, some stuff for camping because we just bought a tent and plan on going camping.It was really nice of them and I can't wait to use them.

We watched the wedding video which was nice but my one friend Danielle that was in the wedding started crying because the guy she thought she was going to marry and was with at the wedding last year have kind of broken up and he is depressed and lots of other things.We ended up having a long girl to girl talk Danielle, Jenny and I until 11, until Danielle started to feel better and could go home.I was glad that we could be there for her.

I am sure that this weekend will be better.Maybe that is why Stephen didn't think that last night was much because we are going on a 4 day weekend getaway.Thanks for listening.

Can you hear me now?

2008-06-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

I have been sick for almost a week now.It started out as a cold then went to my sinuses and chest.I haven't had a voice for almost a week.It is so discouraging when you go to talk and sometimes something comes out and sometimes there is nothing.It was really hard this weekend at the wedding to be quiet with so many people around that I wanted to visit with.Now at school I feel like I can't really do my job.Kids ask me questions and I can't really answer (or they can't hear me)and there is no yelling to quiet the kids down during the lunch hour.I have been thankful for my ability to whistle,I whistle first to get the kids attention and then they can hear me.I just called Stephen and asked him if he could sign the check in my desk,and I was getting so frusterated when he thought that I was saying find the check in the desk and was confused as to why I wanted him to do that.LOL!!I just hope that I have a voice by this weekend so that I can enjoy a nice visit with some close friends.

Our 1st Anniversary

2008-06-09T06:08:00.002-07:00

Is it possible that we have been married for a year already?! I can't believe it.The Ten months of engagement felt alot longer.

Yesterday one of my good friends Elena got married.What is funny is that she was the one that caught my bouquet last year at my wedding and if it hadn't been leap year she would have gotten married the same day as me.It was a lovely little wedding only about 40 people.I had the pleasure of being one of the bridesmaids.It was so different being on that side of things.I will post some pictures when I get them developed.

Tonight we are going to have some family and friends over for cake and to watch the wedding tapes.It will be fun to see them all again.I have been wanting to watch the wedding tape but Stephen wouldn't let me,he said to save it for our anniversary and we can watch it together.Leter this week we are going on a little trip to Vermont to visit friends and to go for a little get away.I can't wait to go!!!

Prayers Please

2008-06-04T07:53:00.001-07:00

I have exciting news to share.Stephen finally has an interview with Ensco, a company that deals with computers and computer programming.He has been putting applications into that company for the last two years but nothing has come up until now.They just called him yesterday and Stephen talked to one of the managers for about 15 minutes and then he asked him to come in for an interview.So today at 3:30 Stephen has an interview that could possibly change our life for the better.He said that the job would be for part time for now (about 30 hours a week) and that the pay would be around $14 an hour!!!Thats $5 an hour more than he makes right now.It makes me so excited that my head just wants to rush ahead and think about the possibliies like us finaly being able to aford to get an appartment of our own!!!Please pray that Gods will, will be done in this and that he can get the job!!It's almost our first anniversary and it's time for us to be on our own.I will let you all know as soon as I know!!

Just a picture!!

2008-05-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Doing Better

2008-05-30T05:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me the last few days while I worked to try to make things right with my friends.I talked to the one I had talked about and come to find out it isn't really me that she is upset with but herself and the situation.After a long discusion we finally were talked out and have forgiven each other.It wasn't easy but it is done and I am thankful. Please continue to pray for me as I try to forgive the friend that I don't feel that I can trust anymore.I'm not sure if I should call and talk to her about the situation or just let it go and just not trust her again.What would you do?

Playing Telephone

2008-05-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday reminded me of a game we use to play as a kid ,telephone.Do any of you remember that game? Well if you don't let me refresh your memory.You would sit in a circle and someone would start and whisper something into the first persons ear, that person would then whisper what they heard to the next person and then the next until the story comes back to the person that started the story sounding somewhat different than it did when the person first said it.It's funny when played as a game but not so much in real life.Yesterday I am sad to say that I talked to one friend and an hour later I got an email from another friend about what I had said to the first.What an embarressing thing to know that what I said can get around so quickly.I was pouring my heart out to a friend about a topic that has been bothering me thinking that I could trust her not knowing that she was not to be trusted anymore.The bad thing was is that I was talking about a friend out of concern for her.I never thought that the friend that I was talking to would call the friend I was talking about and tell her what I said not the way I said it,kind of twisted it around.That made me feel so embarressed and like I can't trust anyone.Why are we girls so mean?I can't say that I am totally blameless in this kind of situation.I am sure I have said something unchecked before about someone just to have something to say.How can we girls talk without gossiping?What is gossiping?It leaves me wondering how can I do better next time?Now I am left with a couple hurt friendships.I called my friend that I talked about and explained what I said and what I ment and she said that she understood but I don't feel as if she has forgiven me or will trust me for a while even though what I said was in concern for her own wellbeing.
I am so frusterated.Please keep me in your prayers.

Tag...You're it !!

2008-05-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

The five things about me
I was tagged by my friend Bethany. Let's see how this goes :)

What I was doing ten years ago:
1. Switching Churches
2. Giggling with my close girl friends about our latest "crush". (blush)
3. Wearing huge glasses for my face and not brushing my hair.
4. Hidding in the closet with clothes on my head when things bothered me. ( I know "yikes"right.)
5. Hating being homeschooled.

5 Things on my to-do list today
1. Work
2. Make dinner
3. clean the bathroom "that has been on my daily list every day."
4. Wash dishes.
5. Try to make time to relax.

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. Pringles
2. corn chips and salsa
3. oranges
4. Peanuts and raisans
5. cookies

5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire: in no particular order!
1. Travel
2. Not work out of the home.
3. Have twelve children and spread the Brower name "Stephen is the last Brower in his line"
4. Go shopping and not look at the price tap when I like something.
5.Buy a house and turn it into a bed and breakfast. ( I hope to do that anyways someday.)

5 Bad habits
1. Finding faults and being judgmental.
2. Bitting my nails when I am nervous.
3. Not being a very contented person "I have the grass is greener on the other side syndrome"
4. Not relaxing .
5. Eating when I am board.

5 Places I've lived
1. An apartment until I was 1.
2. Maider Road til I was 10.
3. Oak Orchard Road til I was 18.
4. Winner Road til I was 21.
5. Pleasant Court where I live now.

5 Jobs I’ve had
1. Babysitter.
2. Camp Counselor at OBC and BaYouCa
3. Chicken gutter and Q.C.
4. A cashier at Wegmans and Hallmark.
5. A teachers aide for almost 2 years now.

5 People I'll tag
No One to tag...oh well.

Our trip to Lancaster

2008-04-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

The Brower Family
Mr and Mrs Stephen Brower

We're Back

2008-04-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

The trip to Lancaster went much better than I even dared hope that it would.We arrived to our Bed and Breakfast around 4:30 on Friday afternoon.We probly would have arrived at 4 if we hadn't gotten caught in a traffic jam right behind a manure spreader the whole time.The manure was quite strong I must confess and left us all with sour stomachs for the rest of the drive.It took us a little while to find our destination because of the fact we were looking for it on East Main Street instead of West.The road changes names at one of the intersections as we found out.I would recommend Kromers B & B to anyone for the price.It was such a nice homey place and the owners were so nice.At first when I walked in I thought oh no, as I smelled a smell that smelled like old peoples houses usualy do.It really wasn't that bad.Our rooms we so nice and cozy.High ceilings,beautiful moldings,big windows, I love old houses .My Mother in Law loved it!!We also had a sitting room and balcony to share which came in handy at night while we sat after a long day of traveling playing games, chatting and drinking some local wine (my father in Law loves wine).

On Saturday we just traveled around stopping at anything that looked interesting.My mother in Law loves quilting so we went to a bunch of quilt shops.We spent a good deal of time at the Kitchen Kettle Village.It was really nice there.It's amazing how many things there is to buy,in fact it's kinda sad in a way.We found this really nice gift shop where everything was more in my price range and I bought a sting of berrys,a decorative heart and star wall hangings,and a grapevine star.I can't wait to put them up when I get home from work today.We also went for a dinner/lunch at the largest and most exspencive buffet that I have ever seen in my life.It was called the Shady Maple.The food was excelent but there were so many people you could hardly walk around.Downstairs was the largest all in one gift shop I have ever seen also.Again it's crazy all the things there are in the world.

Yesterday we headed to Hershey PA.We were going to go to Hershey Gardens but it was $10 per person just to walk around.So we opted out.We ended up going to the outlet malls.It was funny just walking around.Well my room just filled with kids for open Lab time so I have to go.I will try and post some pictures later.

Lancaster

2008-04-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend we head off to Lancaster PA for some little R and R. This year is Stephens parents 30th wedding Anniversary.Since Stephens sister Amy and her husband live in Virgina we decided to take Stephen's parents on a family weekend away instead of tring to throw a party.We picked Lancaster because of it being about half way for both of us.We are renting a bed and breakfast for the weekend.It looks really nice and the price was right. Go to www.kromersbandb.com to see where we will be.I really hope that the weekend goes well.Stephens family are not Christians so sometimes they can be a bit cruel and crude at times.Stephens parents are fine but Amy and Aaron try my patience at times.Usualy when we get together here we can see them for three hours and then go home for some time away. Please pray that it is a nice weekend.I would like it if Amy and I could get to be friends instead of strangers.

Melisa

2008-04-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Stephen and I noticed that we hadn't seen our cat Melisa for about two days.We were starting to worry and looked around the house for her but couldn't find her.As we were relaxing in the livingroom an hour later she came out from wherever she was.Stephen picked her up and said "what happened to her eye"? I looked at her and saw that her left eye was almost entirely covered over by this white film.It looked awful as if her eye had rolled back in her head.She didn't seem bothered by it at all except for her eyes watering.It made me cringe to look at it and made my own eyes hurt .We took her upstairs to ask a wiser Mom what she thought of it.She decided that it looked like she had an infection in her eye and thought we should take her to the vet.We called Pet Smart and thankfully they are open on Sunday so we could bring her right in.She was a very good girl in the car ride as I held her in her favorite blanket. The doctor examened her right away and $109 later (yikes!),we found out that she had an eye infection and had a small tube of stuff to put in her eye 3 times a day.
Yesterday we went to give her her medicine and couldn't find her again.Now we were really puzzled.Where does she go? We looked and looked and come to find out she can go between the floors.There is a small opening between the basement ceiling and the upstairs floor that goes to the heat ducts .Now that we know that we have to do something to stop her from going up there.
This moring when we put her eye drops in, her eye is looking so much better.I am surprised at how fast that medicine turned it around.Almost her whole eye is uncovered now .I am so glad that it worked!!

Spring Break

2008-04-21T11:44:00.001-07:00

Many people would say that my spring break doesn't really sound like a "break" but to me it was heaven.What a nice week off.I was able to get some things done that I have been wanting to do for a while but haven't had time.I made new curtains for the our home.They are white with little pull ties and really make the our home feel more open and homey.I also put up a boarder in our bedroom and moved the furniture around to give it a new look.It looks great.I organized everything.One day I just started taking everything out of it's home and when Stephen got home for lunch everything was everywhere as if a tornato went through the house.There was a method to my madness as he soon saw when he came home after work and everything was looking much better.It's hard when you are organizing.Sometimes it has to look worse before it can look better.I also had a number of friends over throughout the week.Many of my friends are still in college so they work nights and weekends and since I work days it never works out for us to get together.It was nice catching up.

For those of you that are interested and praying continue to pray for my friend that I wrote about in my last article.I finally got a chance to talk to her about her engagement and they are planning on getting married on June 8th of this year.My head still spins to think of trying to get together a wedding that fast.She is determinded.I am not sure that this is all for the best of reasons.I can't seem to shake the uneasiness I have about this wedding.I started to get excited and then the other day she was talking about throwing the whole idea out the window.It just makes me wonder how much she really loves him.She is starting to remind me of the runaway bride.I just don't know what she is running away from if she is running away.I have been asked to be in the wedding so pray for me too as I try to give good counsil.

Well my school day is ending and I can go home.Have a great day!!Enjoy this sunny weather!!

Pros "Read Cons First"

2008-04-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

Guess what it looks like Spring is .... here!!! The forcast is for 40* or above all week.The nights are still chilly and I did have to scrape off my car this morning but it looks like I won't have to much longer.That means a few more minutes of lounging in bed...ahhh.

Not much has been going on here latly.The same old same old pretty much.Since Stephen has been gone alot I have had the chance to read quite a bit. I just finished An Old Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott.It is such a good book and I would recomend it to anyone.I love the old books.You can read then streight through without worrying that there might be something ..... well you get the point.The books back then were just so sweet and simple, even non Christian books seem very Christian because of the good morals unlike today.I am also reading Men are like waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti ,and Sheet music " that I would recomend only to married women". They are both very good. Yes I know I wrote that I was reading that book a month ago but I like to read that type of books slowly so that I can learn the most from them.

I just found out an awsome thing the other day on Google. Did you know that you can read whole books on the computer? If you go to Goole.com and then at the top of the screen you will see web,images,maps,and so on.Go to more and under that is books.If you go in there you can see all the different types of books they have on there.They have many old books under literature like the Jane Austens, Lousia May Alcotts, and many more.I was so excited when I found that because now I can read books on the computer at work.I have so much free time just staring at the computer so that was a big discovery.

Cons

2008-04-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else ever feel like their life is just in a stand still motion.Like everyone else is moving on in life but you are just standing still?Well thats what I feel like.I want so badly to feel like I am where I am sapose to be.

I love being married and wouldn't trade Stephen for the world, but then there is other things like my longing for my own home and being a stay at home wife and mother.Yes we do have an appartment under my parents house but sometimes I don't even feel married because I still live at home.That might be rediculus but that is how I feel.My friends that are married are all having babies and I know that I can't because of Stephens schooling.Jealousy is a very bad thing that can take root even if you don't want it too.

I have been so lonely lately.I don't have many friends around here and the friends I have are moving away.Stephen has been working 30 hours a week latly on top of having 18 credit hours of school and then homework to top it off.My prayer is that I could find something else to do with all my time alone without getting another job.Remember me in your prayers if you think of me.This too will pass!!

Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti

2008-02-28T06:39:00.001-08:00

Have any of you ladies read "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti"by christian authors Bill and Pam Farrel?I recieved the book as a shower present, and I wasn't going to read it at first becasue of it's goofy title but it is really good.I just started reading it and have already learned alot about the mysteries of guys minds and maybe even a little about how my own mind works.If you haven't read it I encourage you to read it along with me so we can chat about it,and if you have read it what do you think?

A little of my life

2008-02-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

Last week I had a whole week off from school.What a week.It really deepened my desire to be a stay at home wife and someday mother.I almost wish I hadn't had the week off because of the discontentment I feel now because I do have to work.But it was a nice week. I spent much of the time getting things finished that I had started like the quilt I had started in August I finally got the top done.Now I am just waiting for to machine quilt it with my mother in laws long arm machine.That will be fun.It will be my first finished quilt.I will post a picture of it when it is finished.
I also got caught up with some friends via the phone ,that I have been foefully neglecting since my marriage started. I have decided to try and start writing my pen pals again.I have been putting off writing snail mail because of lack of time,but now that I am getting use to the routine of being a wife and working full time I think I can start writing again.My letters may not be of great length like they use to be but at least my friends will know I have been thinking of them.And I have been thinking of you all alot!!! I miss my girl friends!!
I am now back to work and am settling back in.I do love my job and the kids,so I guess work isn't so bad.I am looking for a new job though and spent some of my free time last week looking only to find that there wasn't much availible.Hopefully as spring unfolds so will the job prospects.

What to do with my snow day?

2008-02-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

I am home at 9:30 am on a Wednesday.That doesn't happen very often.Today School is closed due to weather.I have been waiting for this snow day so that I could hang at home and now I don't know what to do with myself.I mean I have lots of ideas but I can't make up my mind on what to do first.I have two different lists "Things I should do" and "Things that I want to do".

Things that I should do:Dust, Vaccume, do dishes, organize a few areas,and so on.

Things that I want to do: Read a good book cover to cover, scrapbook, watch Pride and Prejudice for the 100th time,bake ( I don't really need to bake right now we have enough food already in the house), decorate,move furniture around,write letters, and so on.
I will write later and tell you all what I did end up doing with my day off.

2008-02-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't written in a long time.I said that I was going to try and write more often and I haven't.Well I usually write while I am at school but I have been so busy at school that I havn't had a chance.I am now the computer Teacher/aide,Laminator for the whole school,mail sorter,part time office help,bath break watcher for the whole 2nd grade, and now I am also going to start tutoring a 4th grade girl that wont do her work.Yes I have been busy.I go home exhausted!!You could pray for the girl I am going to start tutoring.Her name is Haven and she is a nice girl but she is living in difficult circumstances, and so that is making her hard and stubborn.I hope that I can get through to her.She seems to like me and I have never had any trouble with her, so I told the teacher that I would give it a shot. Please pray that I will have patience with her.

Enough about school.Stephen is in his second semester at BCC.He is doing really well. Next year he is going to be going to Binghamton University for two more years.We were thinking about moving to Rochester and he would go to RIT Tech but he decided on Binghamton.Now that we know that we are going to stay in this area for two more years I am looking for a new job and we are looking into getting a appartment.My teachers aide job doesn't pay very well at all so if we are going to get an appartment I am going to have to get a better job.The appartment probly wont be until this next fall or winter but I hope for sooner.I am applying for jobs as a secretary or receptionist.Our little appartment in my parents basement is very nice but Stephen and I still desire a place to call our own.I feel like I am almost putting our marriage on hold sometimes if that makes any sense.I want to be able to take a nap without someone calling downstairs to come down and get something.I want to be able to invite my family over for dinner and be excited to see them because it has been a little while.Do you know what I mean?!

I also have been doing alot of scrap-booking.Stephen bought me a folding table for my birthday so I can leave out my scrap-booking stuff instead of putting it away all the time.I am working on my wedding scrapbook. I decided to do it in a 8x8 since I have never done an 8x8 book before. I am very happy at how it is turning out!!

I can not wait for Spring.We still have no snow. We havn't had snow since before Christmas. I always say that if I can't have snow I would rather it be spring!!Cold without snow is just no fun!!Maybe Spring will be early this year!!You never know!!

My Birthday was Monday.I am now 23. For my birthday Stephen bought me some tulips and and left them on my keyboard at work when I was gone to lunch.Then when I got home from work I found a note with a scavenger hunt to find my other gifts since he was at school until 5. He bought me three of the Love Comes Softly movies!!It was so sweet.He is so rotten too though because the day before my birthday he informs me that he was going to take me bowling for my birthday.Now bowling is ok but it really is his thing and we have been going ALOT lately!!So I am tired of bowling and he knows that.So I was put out with him for that.But he was pulling my leg the whole time.I am so gulible.I should have known that he was joking , but instead I got bent out of shape because I thought that my husband wasn't romantic.Well this is alot longer than I meant it to be and you probly wont even want to read it!!I will try to write more soon!!
Love You My Friends!!

Surprise Visits

2008-01-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed two surprise visits from friends this week.Both of the friends live a distance away and it was so exciting.The fist visit came on Thursday,as I was walking into work. I got a phone call and to my suprise it was Ruth.They were in PA and wanted to stop by and see us that night.I was so excited to have company and get to see them.It made my day at work go so fast with the anticipation of the visit.They arrived around 8 and we enjoyed chatting and watching the kids .Lydia and Ike loved my fishes and Ike love my cat boxer.Boxer seemed to like him too.Boxer had never seen such a little person and was quite interested in watching and smelling Ike.They stayed over night.I was able to get a few hours off from work friday morning so that I didn't have to rush off to school at 7:30 and could stay around and have breakfast with them.That visit was too short , we will have to get together sometime again soon.It was nice to see you guys!!

My second visit was from my good friend Bethany her baby joshua and her mom Martha on Saturday afternoon. Stephen and I were just on our way out the door when we heard a knock and there was Beth. They live in Rochester about 2 hours away so I was very surprised to see them.They were on their way home from a wedding in New Jersey and thought they would stop in for a visit.They stayed for about an hour and it was such a nice visit.If anyone else wants to come for a visit you are welcome anytime at country Hollow.

Little Elves

2007-12-14T08:09:00.000-08:00

So I was at school playing around on the computer and this is what I came up with.Bethy (please laugh at it and think it funny, I did it only out of good fun!!)
Enjoy!!And Merry Christmas
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1392894109

For those of you who don't know who we all are,
Bethany,( her husband Adam),Me, and My husband Stephen!!

The World in America

2007-12-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like this is the world in America?That people are comming from other countrys and exspecting us to bend over backwards for them and get rid of our trditions and accept theirs? I hadn't thought of it that way until I started working in a public school. We have at least 13 different nationalities in our school alone.Some of which still don't speak english and they have to pay for a translater to come in to translate.I really feel it around the holidays.Yesterday I was working in the office when the principle came bursting out of her office,I have never seen her so mad.She had just gotten a phone call from a parent that wanted to know if the word Christmas was going to be used in the Holiday Program and if there was he was going to call the newspaper and tell them that our school was pushing religion on people for having Christmas in the program.So she had to call the music teacher (our music teacher is a Christian)and ask her if the word Christmas was being used in the program.It was in one of the songs and now has to be taken out.In the Holiday program they are going to be singing a Hanukkah song,a song for quanza,and a song in spanish, and We wish you a Happy Holidays.Why are we loosing our freedoms? They are being taken away so slowly that no one is noticing.It makes me wonder where to go from here.When did freedom of speach and freedom to worship as we please get taken over by,don't say Merry Christmas you might affend someone.So I refuse to say Happy Holidays....I will say Merry Christmas!!!Are you all with me!!!!

Getting ready for Christmas

2007-11-29T06:36:00.001-08:00

So, what else have I been doing other than being sick you may ask.Other then working everyday as usual, I have been working alot on making decorations for my Christmas tree.I thought that I had alot of Christmas decorations but as I unpacked my boxes I noticed how little I had.So I decided that since this year funds are a little low and we have a kitty that will probly climb the tree and pull all of the ornaments down anyways, that I would make my own ornaments so that it won't matter whether they are knocked about.I bought an Old Fashioned decorating and recipie book at a garage sale by Gooseberry Patch and I have been reading and looking through it for ideas.So far I have made a cranberry,cinnamon stick, and orange string ( I dried the orange slices first in my food dehydrator) to put across the mantel I hope,I am working on popcorn and cranberry strings for the tree.And I made these Cinnamon cutout ornaments.If you have never heard of the cinnamon cutouts this is how you make them.Directions for the cinnamon cutouts (warning do not eat them!!!)You take equal parts cinnamon and Applesauce (I did 1 cup each but you can do as much or as little as you want) and you stir it slowly together until it forms a ball.Then you sprinkle the counter with more Cinnamon as you would if you were using flour, and kneed the dough until it is no longer sticky. Then you roll out the dough and cut out using a cookie cutter.Then make a hole for the string ( I used a straw and that worked great).Then you need to dry them out. ( I used a food dehydrator for about 2-4 hours until they felt dry, but you can use your oven setting it at a low temp. about 200-250* for a while just checking it as you go.)I then cut some strings to hang them with using some plad fabric that I had, to make it more country looking.I will try to post some pictures later of how they turned out.Other than that I have just been busy with the everyday stuff. I can't believe how much time it takes to keep up with things with just the two of us.I can't imagine having children and working on top of it, and being able to keep up with everything else.I guess you just get use to things.

If this is what it is like to get older...I want to be younger again

2007-11-27T06:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, so do you want to hear some more drama.Well you are going to hear some.The reason none of you have heard from me for a while is that I have been sick again.On November 12th I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden I had severe abdominal pain,I felt like I was going to be sick and felt dizzy all at once,it was the worst pain I have ever felt.All I could think to do was take a bath.I thought it was just a bad mussle spazam.Stephen ran and to get me some advil for the pain.But as I was soaking it got worse.I was near to passing out.Stephen ran up stairs to get my mom.They decided then that it might be my apendix and slowly got me ready and loaded me in the car.We got to the ER at about 11pm,and sat around for what felt like the longest night of my life.For the first couple of hours the pain was still there and very bad at times but the advil was doing it's job.They took my vitals twice while we waited in the waiting room.Then finally they put us in a privite room at 1:30.I wanted to fall asleep but I couldn't because I thought that they were going to be in at any minute.Stephen was so good through everything and sat by me holding my hand and encouraging me.The night dragged on and the only thing they did was take my vitals two more times.Then finally the doctor came at 7:30 am.He dicided to do an vaginal exam which killed since I was already in pain.Then the doctor sent me to get a cat scan done, so I had to drink a very large glass of this awful stuff on an empty stomach.Yuck!!Well anyways the end result ended up being that I had two sists on both of my overies that had burst and an infection in my colon.So they gave me a high dose of medicine and sent me home with a doctors note for three days off.That was great because I needed the rest, I slept the whole time, but now I don't have any sick days left for if I get any of these flus going around.Please pray that I stay healthy.I went to a follow up doctors appointment last week and he said that my colon looks like an old persons colon and he wants me to have a colon oscopy.I don't want to have one of those done.They sound awful.The Doctor thinks that I may have colitis.I wouldn't be surprised since my Dad has it and it is past through the family.I am sad though because I have to go off of all milk products.I love cows milk and everything you can make with it.Now I have to learn to like soy and goat and sheep milk products.The bad part is how exspencive it is to buy that stuff.Also the doctor said that they also noticed that my Uteris is tilted and that might cause difficulties.I pray that I am still able to have children.It makes me want to try now so I know one way or another wheather I can have children or not.I have always wanted children and want about 8.But the Lord knows best so all I can do now is wait.No, we are no going to try and start a family yet, I just wish we could.Well You have heard enough of that for now.At least now you are updated with the heath part anyways.

Discouraged

2007-11-01T06:11:00.001-07:00

We are so discouraged right now.Stephen just had to drop his Physics course. He has been working so hard, but he just isn't getting it. He went and talked to his schooling counselor and they said that he has two more semesters to go until he gets his 2 year degree.So he had to go to college for 4 years for a 2 year degree ( partly because he switched majors after the first year before me!!).So he won't graduate until next December then he can finally start Binghamton University.( For those of you that don't know what I am talking about, Stephen is going to school for computer programming. )I was so disappointed because I didn't think that I was going to have to work to support us for that long, and we definitly don't want to live under my parents for 3-5 more years.Stephen can't get a full time job and go to school full time,He is having enough trouble working 15-20 hours a week.So the reality is that I have to get a better paying full time job.Sometimes it is hard to look at things as it being the Lords timing.

Country Hollow before and after pictures

2007-10-29T16:41:00.001-07:00

(Living room before demolition)

(our living room now)

(our fireplace before)

(our fireplace now)

(our dining room before demolition)

(our dining room during demolition)

(dining room now ,someday we will put doors up where the curtains are now )

(Stephens computer desk the one place I can't control the mess)

(our kitchen the cabinets used to be wood and Stephen had to piece them together.
I wish I had before pictures.)

( Our bathroom before, it use to be a hair salon but they had to start from scratch anyways.)

(the bathroom looking much better,it's hard to take pictures of small rooms)

(our bedroom before, yuck I can't believe it use to look like that!!)

(the bedroom in progress)

(the bedroom aaahh much better!!)

Well I hope you enjoyed taking a look at our little house.You will all have to come and visit sometime soon!!!

Exciting news

2007-10-29T08:23:00.001-07:00

Oh I forgot to tell you the exciting news!!!!Stephen got his job back at Lowes but this time as a part time worker and not seasonal.He started last Saturday.He was so excitied to be back to work.I think it was bothering him more than I thought not being able to support our "family".It's a bitter-sweet thing for me because it means I won't see him very much.He works weekends and nights and I work weekday days.Oh well.We are enjoying the time we do have together.

Also my good friend Bethany is having her baby right now.I am so excited.I have known Beth since we were 9 and 10 I think. I am pacing the floor!! And I can't wait to find out who it is!!

Life is good

2007-10-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo excited,I am starting to feel like myself agian.I just went off the pill a little over a week ago and little by little I am feeling better.I am not as tired, things don't look so Huge and my burdens feel lighter. It might be the pill it might be that I have given things over to God.It could be a little of both, but I am thankful for feeling better. I find myself not wanting to get to excited,worrying that this won't last, but I think that it will. Stephen says that he can already see a big difference.

I had such a great weekend.I spent my time getting things done that I have been wanting to do for a while. I finished the fireplace.The fireplace was sheetrocked but it hadn't been sanded and needed paint.So I did all of that including doing the ceiling. Then Dad came down and we worked together to put up the lights and mantle.It looks so good. I was excited to be able to use the mantle to put up some wedding pictures and candles.It makes the livingroom so much more homey.I am going to try to take pictures of our appartment so you can see where we live.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon cleaning and organizing.I put in one of my favorite movies (Persuasion by Jane Austen)and took my time.It was very enjoyable and I am so glad to have everything looking so much better.

I have also started a quilt all by myself.My mother in law is an avid quilter and I really will never need to quilt anything but I want to be able to do it.I would like to sew a blanket for each child we have so they have something made by their mother.Ruth lent me a strip quilt book so I went to JoAnn Fabrics and picked out some country looking fabrics.I have the first set of squares done and I hope to work on the second set today.

New Church Family

2007-10-10T15:51:00.001-07:00

I was just looking back at my postings from the last month and I relilized that I never told you about our new church family.We started looking for a new church right after we got married so that we could meet other young adults in our area and have one thing that we could do seperate from my parents.After attending a rather Large church down here Union Center (about 1500 people strong) for about 7 weeks and not meeting anyone ( we felt like ants)and decided to keep looking.
I did some research and found a church about 7 minutes away from us.I went there one Saturday to check it out and see what time the church service was and was welcomed right away and invited to a coffee house they were having that night.I went alone (since Stephen was working) and I met about 5 young adults and had a nice time.The next day Stephen and I went there for church and everyone was so friendly and it felt imediately like home.The service was very nice, alot like lighthouse but everyone isn't home schooled.After church we were invited to the Assistant Pastors house to play games that night.We took him up on it and met more people.We have been going there for a little more than a month and are now attending a bible study with all young adults on Tuesday nights.It is so refreshing to have friends agian around here to call and to do things with.

The truth as it is and I need your help and Prayers

2007-10-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

You have not seen or heard from me much lately.I wish that I could say that I have been busy and that is why I haven't written ,but I have had time, too much time on my hands but I have been refusing to write.I have been hiding.I haven't been wanting to write because if I said that I was great and everything was fine I would have been lieing. I have been embarressed at what I have been going through so I havn't confided in anyone.... until now.

I have been in a depressed state for a little more than two months. You may ask why when I have a wonderful husband,a God that loves me, a good job and a roof over my head.To tell you the truth I couldn't even tell you what was wrong with me until recently.I was miserable and I didn't even want to feel better.Stephen has been worried for me and has asked me over and over agian what is wrong but I really couldn't say.Then on Sunday I heard a sermon that struck a cord and it hit me thats what is wrong with me.The sermon was about the devils lies and when we are not growing in the Lord and feeding on his word it gives the devil a way in.He also talked about Perfect Peace from Isaiah 26:3 about how the Lord will give anyone who asks perfect peace for them that seek Him and ask for it.Thats all great but where do I go from here? First I had to confess to myself , to God and to Stephen all of the things that have been bothering me.

Come to find out I am still hurting from some things that happened in the past and I really haven't let go of it.I was so mad at God at the time these things happened and I really don't think that I ever forgave God for letting them happen.Now that I have confessed it and found part of the problem the healing begins.See I thought that getting married was going to solve all of my problems and take all of those past hurts and regrets away.But it didn't, of course as any sain person would know. :)

Also I am a perfectionest and I am not perfect ( fiding that out would make anyone miserable).Since I have gotten married I have tried to be Super Wife ,and Super Homemaker like I thought that I should be,instead I find myself still lacking and never being able to get everything done on top of working full time.So I would come home exhausted to dirty dishes and clothes in a pile unfolded, and no husband to come home to (since he was working nights and has some night classes).

I have also been lonely.Having no friends in the area to have over to fill my hours was making me even more miserable.The devil uses those times to place bad thoughts and lies into your head.I was listening to them thinking stupidly that they were truths instead of lies of the devil.

I found that I have a Hard Heart.Towards myself not others.I have a hard time forgiving myself.I need to have a good cry but I can't.I always buck up and get tough and mad instead of crying.I have always thought of crying as a sign of weakness.I wish I could just get rid of that way of thinking and just "cry like a girl".

I need all of your prayers and support.I need to know that you all love me even with my flaws and love me through this.I miss you all.Thanks for listening.

P.S.Part of me has been wondering if I might be alergic to the "pill".Has anyone ever heard of the "pill" causing depression?

Please Pray

2007-09-20T18:17:00.001-07:00

We are a bit sad and discouraged right now.Stephen was just laid off today from work.That hits hard on us since I make just over minimum wage not enough to live on.They will not be hirering agian at Lowes for 3 months so he has to start applying at other jobs again.Please pray that he can find a new job quickly!!

Fall,Fall Wonderful Fall

2007-09-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

What is it about fall and winter that just make you want to hunker down.Maybe it is the busy times we have in the summer that makes slowing down in the fall so nice.I always look forward to the smell of fall leaves and wood smoke in the air.Quiet walks in the country with the leaves crackling under your feet.Apple picking and taking that first bite out of a freashly picked apple.A cup of hot cocoa at night while sitting by the fire.Snuggling in a blanket with a good book.Sunday drives in the country looking at the fall leaves.Picnics in the park.There are so many things that I love about fall.What are some of your favorites?

Boxer

2007-08-25T18:41:00.002-07:00

I Just thought that I would post a quick picture of our kitty Boxer.
Isn't he just a cutie . But don't let that sweet face fool you
He really is a little Raskel .

2007-08-09T20:34:00.001-07:00

Some days I wonder how Stephen and I could be so perfect for each other when our family's are so different. One thing I am sure about is that God saved Stephen.

Stephens - He comes from a "Christian background family", they claim to be Christians but they don't pray, and don't go to church . Stephens father used to be a Sunday school teacher when Stephen was very little and Stephens mother was from a very Christian family.( Stephens grandmother took Stephen to church for many years and Stephen kept going after she died)So what happened, I ask myself? All I know is that something happened with them and the people at the church. Something bad enough for them to stop praying, reading their Bible and trusting in God and the people that believe in God. They don't seem to hate God , but they don't follow him.

Me- I come from a long line of Christians.I don't know how far back my family has been Christians but the line goes a long way.It's like breathing to me.For me it's a way of life, my heritage. I can't imagine not going to church,not having Christian relatives,not carrying on the Christian faith. My parents are good people highly respected in the church.
Tonight I went over to Stephens family's house while Stephen was at work.Stephens sister Amy was there and her husband Aaron and their Lesbian friend Mandy.They drink,swear,among other things.I sit there, feeling lost as they fool around and make fun of me, some of it in good fun some of it not.I find it really hard.I don't know how to act?I ask myself what would Jesus do?But I just don't know.I don't want to go along with their sometimes cruel jokes,but I also don't want to appear that I think myself better than them.

Ed and Julie ( Stephens parents) are different. They are nice,and sometime teeter about going back to church and have started asking Stephen to pray before Dinner.But Ed wont pray himself.

I need your help. I need your prayers as I learn how to deal with these situations.I really have no clue.Please pray for the whole family's salvation.I am praying right now for the hurdles I know we are going to have to encounter in the next few months like the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas.This is definitely going to be a challenge.

Where have I been?

2007-07-30T08:47:00.001-07:00

Well I have been here at Country Hollow continuing to try and make it look like home. I have been very busy trying to get everything just the way I want it before I go back to working at the school in the fall.I painted the living room,Kitchen,and our bedroom.I painted the Kitchen and living room a cappuccino color and our bedroom a light cream color.Everything is starting to look very nice and homey.
This weeks project is curtains for the windows.I hate to cover them up but sometimes you need the privacy with so many neighbors around. I have never sewed curtains before so this is all new to me.I have been looking online for the perfect style curtains for a basement.We will see how they turn out.
I have also been looking for a job with no result.Looks like I will be going back to the school.I liked working at the school too so I don't mind.But I won't make enough there to support us while Stephen goes to school.So I have to take on another part time job.Stephen will still be working at Lowes part time.It's amazing how much you need to make to just get by. So after doing some research I have decided to become a Home Interiors decorating consultant.I think that I will like it very much.I like decorating and since Stephen will be working most nights it will be nice to keep busy.What is also nice is that I talked to the principle and she is going to let me work on the orders , invitations and so on right there from my desk at work. ( they really don't want to loose me,I feel so loved!)I will be starting next week.The nice thing is that I can do as much or as little as I want to.So I can do 1 show a week or 1 show a month.We will see how it goes.I can do shows anywhere too.So you girls in Vermont and elsewhere can schedule a party.I love to travel and visit!!
Other than that things have been nice and slow.I have been enjoying the slower pace since the wedding.I am still working on my Thank Yous and am about half way.
I am going to try my hand at soap making this week.Someone gave us a soap making kit and I am going to try it.I think it will save some money down the line.If any of you have made soap and have any info about making soap I would appreciate it. I am also looking for new smell idea.The kit came with peppermint but I am not sure that I want to have that much peppermint soap.
Well I better go for now.Stephen and I are off for a picnic in the park this afternoon since he doesn't have to work for once.It should be a nice relaxing afternoon.

I finally named our house

2007-07-30T08:46:00.001-07:00

I have always loved the romantic idea of naming houses to suit there personality.Any of you who have read any of the Anne of Green Gables books or Jane Austins books will understand. Like Anne's house was Green Gables, the Bennett's house in Pride and Prejudice was named Longborn , Mr. Bingleys house was Netherfield, and Mr Darcy's house was Pemberly.I think you get my point.Anyhow I have always hated the drabness of calling where you live,and share so many good times and memories just a house or just our apartment.So I decided to name our house. I have been thinking on this subject for weeks and finally I came up with the name.It's ...... Country Hollow . I decided on that name because I enjoy country type things and our apartment is in the ground so our home is in the Hollow.I think that it suits it very well.So for now on I will refer to our home as Country Hollow.

I hate things that you can't control

2007-06-27T18:10:00.001-07:00

My face is breaking out like crazy.I have never had this much trouble before.I mean I have had break outs but not like this.It hits me harder than usual being a newly married bride ,wanting to be as pretty as I can for my husband and feeling like a dart board.He says that it's ok and that it's not that bad.But I still feel terrible.I guess I wouldn't feel as bad also if I didn't have almost perfect complection on our honeymoon.I look at the pictures and wonder what happened in 2 weeks.Any ideas??I could use some encouragement!Thanks agian for letting me vent on you!!

A New Addition to our family

2007-06-26T19:21:00.001-07:00

We are sooooo excited!!We are proud parents of 4 fish!!The best part was this morning when we became grandparents,one of the fish was pregnant and they are having babies.I just saw anouther one born.It's been happening all day.We are very sad though of the lack of loving that the parents are giving their children.They are eating them.I was very shocked when I saw this and wished I could save them.One or two might survive.They have hid themselves in the rocks.They are so tiny.I hope at least one suvives.

The Photographers Pictures

2007-06-26T19:13:00.001-07:00

The photographer finally finished the pictures from the wedding.He put them in a book form online for anyone to see.It's not all the pictures but there are alot there.You will have to look at them a few times to see them all.I hope you enjoy looking at them.I am thrilled with the way they turned out.I can't wait to have the book and some on the walls.So exciting.
Heres the site please check it out and let me know what you think.
www.chenangostudios.com/smithbrower/

Board at work

2007-06-21T09:05:00.001-07:00

Here I am sitting at school.The rooms are empty and silence fills the air.Everything is so different when the children are gone.I have already organized my room and most of the teachers are gone to lunch.I decided to work through lunch so I can go home at 1.I am soooo board though.What am I sapose to do the last 2 days I have left.We have to come in because we are getting paid to.Theres no out this time.I guess if you look at it, it is kind of nice to get paid to sit around play on the computer and talk to the teachers as they walk by.But I have so much to do at home.All I want to do is be there right now not here.So instead of sitting here stareing at my screen I thought I would write you my frustrations.hmm.............I feel better now!!

4~Settleing in

2007-06-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

We arrived home at about 10:30 Thursday night and I was greatful to be home.But boy was the appartment a mess.I was excited about settleing in but it was late and I needed a goodnights sleep.It's hard to believe how much stuff you actually need to start a house.I am constantly thinking of things that I still need to get.Mom and Julie(stephens mom)went shopping and bought us some groceries.Tonight though I need to go and do some real shopping.The bad thing is that I can't think of things I need to get when I go to make a list.I think that I am thinking too much about it and making it harder than it is.I have also been trying to figure out where everything should go.We found out we didn't have enough cubbord space so we had to buy an island.It's really nice in will really come in handy.It's been alot of fun settleing in .
This week is hard because I have to work when I want to be making our house a home.I go home and try to work on it but I am tired when I get home.Yesterday Julie(stephens mom) came over and I felt like she thought I couldn't set up a home and I was getting frusterated because she moved things where I didn't want them.I am trying to take my time and enjoy setting everything up but I think she thought I should have it done by now.
Oh Well.We recieved alot of nice things for the wedding.Our familys came over on Friday night and watched us open everything.LeeAnne you will be glad to know that your card was the first card I recieved as Mrs Brower in the mail when I got home. :DStephens is going to be working alot.Ruth,Rebecca,Ann Jisca,Bethany what do you do to keep busy while your hubbys are away?It gets kind of lonely?Ruth I thought of you especialy since Mark works so many hours on the farm.What things do you do to make the time together even more special?Any other pointers any of you can give me I would appretiate it!!
I have been wanting to call some of you and chat now that I finally have time but I am sad to say that I have a terribe cold now so I will call you when I can talk longer without coughing.It's sad I have been sick since the wedding.I can't wait to feel good!!Well I think that is all for now.I send my love to you all and I look forward to talking to you

3~The Honeymoon

2007-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

We had a nice,quiet,and slow honeymoon which was good since I was sick almost the whole time.I think my body had finally given into exhaustion.I had been pushing myself for months and I needed a break.
My Grandparents had given us a week at a condo in the pocono mountians in PA. We had a 2 bedroom little house for the week all to ourselves.We got lost trying to find the place.I had looked up the address on Mapquest with the address on all the paperwork but come to find out that wasn't the address to the place but to where .....well we ended up at a dead end on a dirt road.Funfun.So I took out my cellphone and called the place and got the real address.We actually weren't far from the resort only about 10 minutes away but it took us a while to find it.
Once we finally got there it started to pour.That was fine though because we were tired out anyways.We had a wrap around porch so we sat on that and watched it rain for a while and then took a latenight strole in the rain.Good memories.
The next day my stomach wasn't feeling well on and off but it was still raining so we just hung around which was nice.As the week went on my stomach just got worse and worse.I have a problem with getting constapated.I wasn't able to go to the bathroom and hadn't gone in 5 days.Finally on Wednesday I couldn't take it anymore and got some drugs for it.They didn't work though so I had to use an enema.Funfun!!That gave me some relief and on Thursday I was feeling well enough to go to the bushkill falls.They were beautiful and we enjoyed a picnic lunch there.If you ever have a chance to go take it.You won't be disappointed.
That night Stephen decided to take me for a romantic dinner at this exspencive resturaunt.It was so nice,candles and everything.I ate one roll and by the time our dinner was brought out I was in agony agian,I just couldn't eat.I just started to cry right there and we decided to pack up and go home early.I needed my medicine to fight it off and it was at home.Stephen was so good about everything.That week brought with it the whole meaning of for better or for worst,in sickness and in health.
Don't think that all we did we sit around though.When I was feeling ok and sometimes through pain, we did go miniture gulfing,swimming,shopping and did alot of scenic driving .It was beautiful country.